Numb
weeks and weeks of numb
one day
papers were signed voiding vows
one day initially
pervasive confusion (the not-sure-what-this-means)
made space for numb
months of numb occasionally
made way for
emotional nausea
as if feeling had gotten tipsy
eaten nachos
and couldn’t
get off the amusement park ride
when occasional became frequent
numb would have been welcome
there were moments,
though
when numb and nausea
were set aside for
(not joy happiness contentment)
forgetting
then, for just long
enough to notice
joy happiness contentment snuck into the forgetting
a confusing welcome surprise
& joy happiness contentment
like the sun above a hazy morning
began to peek through
***
one day recently I
stopped, noticing that I couldn’t recall a bad hour
over the previous 240 …
of course, day eleven fixed that
I still expect clouds
at the same time, I’m also starting to expect sun
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