Numb
      weeks and weeks of numb
one day
      papers were signed voiding vows 
one day initially
pervasive confusion (the not-sure-what-this-means)
      made space for numb
months of numb occasionally
made way for
            emotional nausea
      as if feeling had gotten tipsy
            eaten nachos
                  and couldn’t
get off the amusement park ride
when occasional became frequent
      numb would have been welcome 
there were moments,
though
            when numb and nausea
      were set aside for
            (not joy happiness contentment)
      forgetting
then, for just long
enough to notice
      joy happiness contentment snuck into the forgetting
            a confusing welcome surprise
      & joy happiness contentment
            like the sun above a hazy morning
      began to peek through 
***
one day recently I
stopped, noticing that I couldn’t recall a bad hour
      over the previous 240 …
            of course, day eleven fixed that 
I still expect clouds
      at the same time, I’m also starting to expect sun 
 
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