Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Long Gravel Road: a moment of Isolation and Connection

I followed a truck
            down a long gravel road
      (of course, it kicked up dust
                  from the road
            a frustration, as I couldn’t keep
                  the windows down
      (I tried, but the dust-coughing
                  was too much))

they set up camp over there
            the rv, the atv, the generator

I can hear them
      but can’t see what they’re up to

maybe they hear me
            only when I laugh out loud
                  at what I’m reading
            (a book about death, pain, & sorrow)
      but I doubt it
without knowing it, I came here
      for isolation
the phone’s turned off,
      but on wouldn’t make a difference
            since the connection doesn’t reach this valley

no connection leaves room for connection
      to breath
      to aroma
      to noises
            that don’t penetrate the city
      to the waning light
            or the encroaching dark
      to the desert cold
                  that’s about to chase me into
            the tent that I’ve set up where
                  morning’s sun will wake me early

in time to get back out

      down that long gravel road

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Darkness: of Eclipses, or Relationships

It happens

it’s not a secret
            it doesn’t come as a surprise
      it’s obvious to those who
                  allow themselves to pay attention

it would be dark soon

      for some, the darkness is barely noticeable

      for others it’s obvious
                  like a bruised rib
            you can ignore it, but I can’t

      and there are those who couldn’t miss it
            except that their eyes were closed
            except that they kept themselves from seeing
                  the waning light

we who have seen the darkness
            with our own eyes
      felt it
            in our own skin
      experienced it
            at the center of our being
hope that it will pass
            sooner or later

then, as soon as it’s done,
      we wonder when the darkness will return

Friday, August 11, 2017

One Year: of Divorce (and Mixed Metaphors)

      weeks and weeks of numb

one day
      papers were signed voiding vows
one day initially pervasive confusion (the not-sure-what-this-means)
      made space for numb

months of numb occasionally made way for
            emotional nausea
      as if feeling had gotten tipsy
            eaten nachos
                  and couldn’t get off the amusement park ride

when occasional became frequent
      numb would have been welcome

there were moments, though
            when numb and nausea
      were set aside for
            (not joy happiness contentment)

then, for just long enough to notice
      joy happiness contentment snuck into the forgetting
            a confusing welcome surprise

      & joy happiness contentment
            like the sun above a hazy morning
      began to peek through


one day recently I stopped, noticing that I couldn’t recall a bad hour
      over the previous 240 …
            of course, day eleven fixed that

I still expect clouds

      at the same time, I’m also starting to expect sun