Friday, August 11, 2017

One Year: of Divorce (and Mixed Metaphors)

Numb
      weeks and weeks of numb

one day
      papers were signed voiding vows
one day initially pervasive confusion (the not-sure-what-this-means)
      made space for numb

months of numb occasionally made way for
            emotional nausea
      as if feeling had gotten tipsy
            eaten nachos
                  and couldn’t get off the amusement park ride

when occasional became frequent
      numb would have been welcome

there were moments, though
            when numb and nausea
      were set aside for
            (not joy happiness contentment)
      forgetting

then, for just long enough to notice
      joy happiness contentment snuck into the forgetting
            a confusing welcome surprise

      & joy happiness contentment
            like the sun above a hazy morning
      began to peek through

***

one day recently I stopped, noticing that I couldn’t recall a bad hour
      over the previous 240 …
            of course, day eleven fixed that

I still expect clouds

      at the same time, I’m also starting to expect sun