I do my best to dwell in the care of my God
to take shelter in the shadow of the almighty
from the spiritual desert sun
I do everything I can to take refuge in the Lord
and to allow the most high to abide with me
when eventide falls, and every other time of day as well
and yet, I don't feel borne up
I don't experience the elation of being held in God's arms
I don't see evidence of angels standing guard
to trust in God,
it seems from some psalms
and from some tv preachers
to trust in God, it seems,
is to know no hardship
to know no pain, no struggle
and yet, euphoria … nirvana … heavenly bliss
seems so fleeting
my struggles are all around me
before and behind, above and below
they will not let me go
And then I turn around
recognizing that when I abide in God
though I may experience pain
my joy is greater
although I may know hardship and struggle,
as I give my life over to the divine
I begin more and more to know
that I will still struggle
and that in my struggle
in my pain, in my despair
God does not abandon me
but is always near
God, who's divine body knows our pain and our struggle
our despair and our death
the psalmist is right:
They will call me, says God
and I will answer them
I will be with them in their trouble.
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