I realized a couple weeks ago that I’ve kind of gotten used
to most of the lasting effects of my spinal cord injury. If I’m distracted by
other things, I just move. But if I think about the ways I move differently
now, I notice deficiencies.
Most of the time when I notice deficiencies, I either focus
my conscious brain on engaging the muscles that aren’t working right; or I
think to myself something like, “I need to exercise that muscle more
intentionally.”
The view from as high as we got |
The other day, though, I got frustrated. See, what happened
is that we were out hiking. We had just started down when we were passed by
this guy who had a child in his backpack. He was moving quickly, and with confidence.
He didn’t look rushed. He moved really smoothly and fluidly as he flew by us.
I thought to myself (as I focused almost all my attention on
foot placement and muscle engagement), “I used to move like that. I wish I
could still move like that.”
When I think about how much more extensive my injury could
have been, I recognize that I’m ridiculously lucky to be as mobile as I am. And
still every so often I lament what I’ve lost.