There can be no keener revelation of a society's soul than the way in which it treats its children.~ Nelson Mandela
I don't know whether it actually
happened or not, but I heard one time about an old and curmudgeonly
pastor who was asked about the noise that some children were making
during worship, especially during the sermon. Picture the classic
and stereotypical German Lutheran pastor who was of the age to have
retired in the early 1970's. You know, a little bit gruff and a little
bit opinionated and a little bit stubborn.
What I heard is that, when he was asked
about the noise children were making, he replied that he enjoyed it … he said that
the screaming of little children during the worship service is simply
evidence that parents are bringing their children up in the church.
The way I imagine the conversation
going, I don't think that the questioners getting the answer from the pastor that they
wanted.
That congregation (the one with the old
German pastor, a congregation and pastor which may well only exist in
my mind) is not the only one where children (and the parents of children) who make noise or move
around during worship get sideways looks from
other members of the congregation; it's not the only congregation where people
come to the pastor with a complaint about those children, or a request
that the leadership come up with a solution to the distraction that
children cause during the liturgy.
From what I can tell, the problems that
people have with children in worship have to do with their own
personal comfort level, with their own ability to pay attention
to the liturgy, and with their own ability to worship.
To be fair, when there's a child who's
screaming during the sermon, it's hard to hear what the preacher is
saying. When there's a child who scampers away from their parents
during the choir's anthem, some of the harmonies might be a little
off. When the child behind you is rustling papers or crinkly toys,
you might not catch every word of the Eucharistic prayer.
That's all true. Those things might be
distractions to one or more individuals in their worship. If that's
true, then arguably I need to be distracted from worship,
because it would seem my worship is more about me than it is about G-d.
Plus, the approach to worship (that I need to get something out of worship or it's not worthwhile) carries with
it the assumption that those who lead worship are the providers of a
service, and those who are in the congregation are simply consumers.
The truth is, though, that when
children are moving around and making some noise, I can both watch them
and pay attention to the preaching. I can hear the child behind me and hear the choir's anthem. I can turn my head toward the child who's escaped from their family's pew while I
continue to sing and pray.
Some congregations have the (explicit or implicit) expectation that when children are even the slightest bit "disruptive", the parents should remove them from the sanctuary. Unfortunately, requiring parents to remove children from the sanctuary feels a lot like removing families from the community.
When we invite (or
ask, or require) parents to stifle their children, we
communicate a belief that children's whole selves are not welcome in
the Body of Christ. Of course we would never say this out loud. But
if part of the nature of children is that they move around and make a
little noise, to require them to be still and quiet is to say that
the nature of children is not welcome in worship.
Obviously it's not appropriate
for the sanctuary to resemble a day care center (where children are
encouraged to move around as much as they want). At the same time,
the sanctuary should not be as a library either. The atmosphere should probably not be chaotic, and the atmosphere should probably not be overly restrained.
We need to feel free to bring our whole selves into the worshiping community.
We should echo the proclamation of
Gospel with loud and bold Amens. We should sing with deep breath and full
voices. We should eat heartily and drink deeply of the bread and cup
when we come to the Eucharistic table.
In our worship, we are called to
embrace and embody and celebrate the fullness of life. Children
should not be stifled – neither should adults, for that matter –
for we are all the Body of Christ. When any one is missing (or kept
away), the Body is lesser.
And I think none of us (in the Church)
want to lessen the Body of Christ.
$0.02