Tuesday, April 19, 2022

God is Good?

 "God is Good", he said to me. We had talked very briefly about the accident a few years ago; I had mentioned that even though I currently have some mobility limitations and some muscles that don't work like they're supposed to, I had started recovery in a wheelchair. 

"God is Good" was the reply. 

While I certainly believe that statement to be true, I find the context to be problematic. I don't remember much about the time I was in the ICU, but I do remember the doctors and nurses asking me to squeeze their fingers with my hand, to push down and pull up with my toes. I vaguely remember unsuccessfully willing those squeezing and pushing and pulling muscles to work. 

At that moment, I had use of my left hand; my right arm and both legs didn't work. It was a significant and real possibility that I was facing the prospect of learning how to move through the world in a wheelchair. 

What if I hadn't regained my ability to walk? What if my right arm was still useless, and I'd'a had to learn to be left-handed? Is God still good? 

I absolutely do feel fortunate that I've regained as much mobility as I have. I absolutely do believe that God is good. I don't necessarily believe that those two things are directly related to one another. I can't believe in a God whose benevolence is so directly tied to one individual's physical mobility.