hikerrev

Music in our Schools

2012-02-13T09:07:00.002-07:00

My very excellent son played in theDenver Citywide Honor Band last weekend. He's in fifth grade, and soplayed with some of the best elementary school musicians from thiscity. He had a great time spending a Friday afternoon and sevenhours of a Saturday immersed in music.

We stayed after his band's concert tohear the Citywide Middle School and High School bands concerts aswell. It was inspiring to hear how much better the older bands arethan the younger. It's obvious, but it's still inspiring.

I'm really glad my children areafforded the opportunity to play in school bands. In particular, I'mreally glad that the school district has, so far, been willing tocontinue funding bands in schools. As I've noted before, Ibelieve art (and physical education) is indispensable in publiceducation.

But, since the economy has beenrecessed for a few years, and people seem to be less and less willingto pay taxes, school districts are being forced to cut their budgetsand pare down to the bare bones … back to readin', 'ritin', and'rithmetic.

I understand the dilemma ~ withoutenough money, do you cut the band program or the math department? Obviously, without enough money for both, the band is gone.

Colorado just received word that thestate is exempted from the requirements of the so-called 'No ChildLeft Behind' strictures. This announcement encouraged me to lookinto the performance-evaluation system the state adopted that led tothis exemption.

Some of the standards students shouldbe able to demonstrate, based on the newer assessment criteria, are:creativity, innovation, communication, collaboration, initiative, andself-direction.

Colorado was granted this waiver, whichallows the state more flexibility in using federal funds to assessimprovement. What I really wish is that the state had moreflexibility in using federal funds to actually develop these markersin students.

Here's the thing ~ I learned to play aninstrument in 6^th grade. I was never, and will never be,a great musician. This does not mean, though, that my musicaleducation was wasted. I continue, to this day, to find joy increating music, and I believe I'm a better person because of theintangibles I learned by playing in the school band.

Mr. Richard Shaw, the conductor of theCitywide High School band pointed out the truth to us that thesequalities (creativity, innovation, communication, collaboration,initiative, self-direction) are all inherent to playing in a band.

I wish the state had the finances andflexibility to actually take arts (and physical) education seriously. I wish we were raise more tax dollars to fund arts education. Iwish we would recognize that even though it's difficult to measurethe benefit of music to children in the short term (like we canmeasure improvement in mathematics), our society will benefit in thelong term from teaching all children music and art.

$0.02

Bishop Election, Part Three

2012-02-11T11:37:00.000-07:00

In the comments section of my post immediately previous to this one, someone made an astute observation. This person notedtheir discomfort with what they perceived as ageism in the church. This person draws an parallel between age discrimination anddiscrimination based on gender and sexuality and ethnicity.

You might agree with this person; youmight disagree with their perspective. In some areas of our society,it certainly is true that there is discrimination based on age. Infact, through this recent economic downturn, I'm certain that somepeople I know had more trouble getting a job than they should have;and I'm certain the reason for this was their age.

However, it's also true thatdemographics are important. If we were to look around ourcongregations and see only women, we would recognize that we have aproblem. And the truth is that we've been looking at ourselves fordecades, recognizing the lack of ethnic diversity as problematic, andtrying to address the white-ness of our congregations.

In the same way, it is necessary forthe church to look around and see a dearth of young people. It isalso necessary for the church to look around and not see young peoplein significant positions of leadership.

I don't see this as age discrimination. I see it as a problem that the church needs to address. I believethat people over 50 are vital to the vibrancy of the church. I alsobelieve that no age group is more vital to the life of the churchthan any other.

The thing is, though, that wheneveryone in leadership is from the same generation, other age groupsare necessarily alienated. In fact, this is one of the reasons thatI've felt for years that younger leaders don't have a voice in thissynod; the full-time ministry staff in the synod office are alldemographically the same.

Because we don't have voices from adiversity of age groups in significant leadership positions, I'mafraid that the church is clinging to a way of existence that waslife-giving in past decades, but that needs to be tweaked for ourworld today.

As we prepare for the upcomingelection, I'm not asking that we ignore anyone over a certain age. What I'm asking for is that we consider the fact that many youngadults are staying away from church, and what it would be like toseriously consider electing a 30-something- or 40-something-year-oldbishop.

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Bishop Election, Part Two

2012-02-10T10:01:00.002-07:00

As I mention here, our synod willbe electing a new bishop in a couple months. So far, over 60 peoplewere potentially nominated. Of those, seventeen potential candidates have notwithdrawn their names from potential nomination. (I say potential, because nothing official can happen until theApril assembly.)

The next step in this potential processis for the remaining potential candidates to submit biographicalinformation and their ideas about the office of bishop.

Those were published earlier this week,and I've taken a little time to glance at what these folks havewritten. I have to admit, I'm disappointed in what I see.

Of course I'll have to make a closerreading before too long, but the vision I see articulated by most ofthese potential candidates is a continuation of the status quo. “Let's do what we've been doing, let's just do it better.” Andanything beyond what's always been is wrapped in church bureaucraticjargonistic language that doesn't really mean anything.

The world is shifting and changing allaround us, and the church seems to be mired in a thought process thatwas successful at one point in history, but no longer makes sense.

Before you, my seven readers, throw upyour hands in frustration, please understand that I'm not advocatingthat we eschew the essentials of our faith. Word and Sacramentshould continue to remain at the center of who we are. Our Lutheranperspective on Christian theology is indispensable to the future ofthe church. The rest, though, should be up for negotiation.

See, if we don't begin to recognizethat the world is changing, we'll remain stuck in the culturaltrappings of the past.

What I don't see is any one of thepotential bishop candidates voicing an articulate alternative tobusiness as usual. Further, I don't hear any one of the potentialbishop nominees talking about their actual shortcomings.

What we need, in my opinion, is abishop who is solidly rooted and grounded in the essentials of ourfaith. What we need, in my opinion, is a bishop who is humble enoughto recognize their own shortcomings, and who is willing to build astaff to fill those gaps.

What we need, in my opinion, is abishop who recognizes the reality that the world is shifting andchanging all around us, and who is willing to push the church intothe future ~ not simply for the sake of change, but because the rootsand foundation of our faith has an important Word to speak into thechanging world.

$0.02

Waking Up in the Winter

2012-02-04T22:38:00.002-07:00

morning beckons,
calling from
beyond the down and
patchwork of
sewing scraps & history

thick down and a
heavy quilt
hours ago tucked tightly
under my feet and shoulders
have loosened overnight

creating the security and
comfort of warmth, which
despite a beckoning morning
my nearly-awake self
will not vacate

Bluegrass Jams and Church

2012-01-28T10:17:00.001-07:00

As my seven readers may know fromlooking at my profile, one of my identities is 'mediocre musician'. One of my favorite things to do, musically, is to go to bluegrassjams. Basically, what happens at a bluegrass jam is that people sitor stand around and play bluegrass songs. By and large, anyone canshow up at a jam ~ doesn't matter whether you're a great player, orjust starting on an instrument.

I'm not a very good bluegrass musician,but in the years that I've been going to jams, I've gotten goodenough to be able to at least keep up in most circles. So I felt alittle bit off balance last week when I went to a jam and felt like Ididn't completely fit in. It took me a little while to figure outwhy, but here's what I think.

I showed up to the jam just as it wasstarting, and it was obvious that everyone else who was there kneweach other. They were calling one another by name, talking abouttheir life beyond that night, and asking about mutual friends. Evenas other people showed up, it was obvious that everyone there kneweveryone else, that they saw each other regularly in that venue, andthat they interacted with one another in other settings as well. Outof probably 12 to 15 people who were there that night, there was onlyone who I thought might not be a regular … and she was the onlyperson who said anything to me all night.

Once the jam started, the group wasmostly playing songs I didn't know. I'm competent enough to be ableto keep up with the chord changes for new songs, and confident enoughto know that if I can't play the song, I'll sit it out. The thingthat bugged me, though, was that I know plenty of songs (just not theones they were playing). I would have been happy to call, and lead,one of the songs I do know. But in that circle, no one invited me tosuggest a song, and it didn't feel like anyone cared that a strangermight have something to offer.

It felt to me like this group held ajam so that they could see each other, and the music was of lesserimportance than their already-established relationships. I felt likean outsider for the whole night, and I felt like they didn't carewhether I was there or not. The only thing anyone said as I wasleaving was, “He's not coming back, is he? I'm going to take hischair.”

I'm not too bent out of shape aboutthis experience. This jam happens in a town that I hardly ever getto, so it's not likely I'll be going back. Plus, there are a fewother jams that I get to which are much more friendly.

The folks at the jam I frequent mostoften go out of their way to welcome new people. Beyond justwelcoming, they do whatever they can to involve everyone fully, nomatter who they are. When someone new shows up, everyone introducesthemselves. The leader (jam host) makes sure the new person has anopportunity to receive communication about what's happening in thefuture, and the leader makes sure everyone has something to drink anda place to sit. Other than that, the leader is no different fromanyone else in the circle.

Essentially, it feels like everyone isthere because they love playing music, and the folks at this jam goout of their way to encourage others to be part of this jam becausethey love what happens there.

From what I can tell, there's onecritical difference between this group and my recent new-jamexperience. In my regular group, people are happy to see friends,but they're there to play music ~ and if new people show up to playmusic, they're immediately equally part of the group (whether they'rebeginners or experts).

The other night, I stumbled in to aplace where people who happen to play the same kind of music like tohang out together and play that music. If someone else who alsolikes that music happens to show up, they can join in the playing. But since it felt like the primary reason to be there was for peopleto see their friends, there was no real reason to be excited aboutnew people (who aren't their friends) happen to show up.

There's a huge difference between beingexcited about seeing friends, and being excited about the activity. There's no reason to invite or welcome strangers into a circle offriends; the stranger is, by definition, not part of the circle offriends. But when a group is motivated by the activity, they're morelikely (without even thinking about it) to want to get anyone andeveryone to participate in that activity.

This one simple experience is changing,and reinforcing, the way I think about church. Too often, it seemslike church is about doing something with friends. When we gettogether, we're happy to catch up with people we know. It's usuallyfine if others show up, but we don't tend to go out of our way tomake sure they're fully able to participate, and it's usually monthsbefore we invite them to share their gifts.

When we talk about church being a'family', and when we concern ourselves primarily with the programsand activities which are geared toward people who are already here,we necessarily become insular, self-centered, and unwelcoming. Iwonder how many people walk away from our congregations like I didfrom that jam the other day ~ feeling like an outsider, ignored andundervalued.

When what we're doing becomes moreimportant than who we're with, we can't help but to want others toparticipate. We can't help but to invite people to show up with us. We can't help but to open the circle a little wider, because we wanteveryone to be able to have access to this thing (whether it's musicor Gospel) that we love so much.

$0.02

Traffic Tickets and Taxes

2012-01-25T16:29:00.001-07:00

I got an unfortunate piece of mail theother day. It was from the Denver photo traffic law enforcementdivision … or something like that. In the envelope was a citationfor running a red light. The ticket surprised me, since I didn'tremember running, or even almost running, a red light recently.

I checked the date of the infractionagainst my calendar, realizing that I ran this red light on the daywhen I pretty sick. In fact, at the time I committed the offensewhich warranted receiving a ticket, I was on my way to try to find anurgent care clinic.

So, my in-the-mail ticket had photos ofme committing the infraction. It looked, from the photos, like I hadstopped at a red light, and then executed a (perfectly legal) rightturn on red. The letter pointed me to a web site where there wouldbe more photos ~ so I checked. Still, all the photos seemed toindicate that I had stopped, checked traffic, and then turned. Thewebsite had a link to video ~ so I checked. Sure enough, the videoindicated that I had approached the red light about 15 seconds afterit turned red. The video indicated that I had not quite come to afull and complete stop. I had virtually stopped, and certainly I hadstopped enough to see that my right turn on red was entirely safe. But yes, technically, I broke the law.

But here's the thing. I'm pretty surethat, if there was a police officer sitting at the light, s/heprobably wouldn't have pulled me over. And if they did, I'm prettysure they wouldn't have given me a ticket. Perhaps, based on theactual driving, I would have received a warning, since my driving wasnot a danger to me or anyone else. Further, on that particular day Iwas obviously sick. In fact, the reason I was even driving around atthat particular moment was to look for an urgent care clinic. I wasdreadfully sick, and if I had been stopped by a police officer, Iwould have asked that person where to find the clinic.

I don't know if this is true, but I'veheard that the budget for the Denver police force cut prettyseverely. I wonder if the Denver police department is watchingtraffic cameras more closely. I'm sure it costs less and creates ahealthier bottom line to have an officer watching cameras than itdoes to have that officer on the street. But it's easier to pay forone officer in a room than an officer in a car. However, thatofficer in front of a television monitor is much less effective atdeterring crime than an officer on the street.

The thing is, I believe that the policeforce (and many other governmental agencies) doesn't have enoughmoney because we as a population are reluctant to pay taxes. What weseem to forget is that the taxes we pay isn't money that simplyevaporates from our personal bank accounts ~ our taxes fund ourcivilization. I wonder if there's a direct correlation ~ is it truethat the less taxes we're willing to pay, the less civilized webecome as a society?

Maybe so, maybe not ~ but I do believethat if we paid more in taxes, I would have been less likely to receive a traffic ticket. Plus, thenwe would have more police officers working on the street on crimethat actually endangers other people.

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Perspective

2012-01-19T22:18:00.002-07:00

budgets and bills
politics and policies
conflicts and conundrums
and
all the other concerns
filling my
consciousness

are put in
proper perspective
by the girl
in the next car, with
her tongue out,
joyfully consumed by
consuming
her ice cream cone

Bicycle Adventure

2012-01-16T22:13:00.003-07:00

As my seven readers may know (fromprevious posts about cycling), I like cycling. As my seven readersmay also know (from previous posts about things like paying taxes andhealthcare), I feel like it's the responsibility of those who haveplenty to provide respectful and humane assistance to those who don'thave as much.

These two sides of me aremeeting one another this spring when I embark on the Fuller Centerfor Housing Spring Bicycle Adventure.

Here's the deal. The Fuller Center for Housing is an amazing organization who repairs existing homes andbuilds new houses for folks who can't afford new construction and/orrepairs at the market rate. For those who are familiar with Habitat for Humanity, the Fuller Center is very similar (and was started bythe founder of Habitat), Millard Fuller.

As part of their fund-raising andsharing-the-word activities for the past five years has been thesummer Bicycle Adventure. Last year my dad rode the summer bicycleadventure, which went from Seattle to Washington D.C. I would haveloved to be part of that adventure, but my work schedule didn't allowit. I'd also love to be part of this summer's Bicycle Adventure, butmy schedule (again) doesn't allow it. And so I was almost ecstaticwhen I learned that there would be a Spring Break Bicycle Adventure. Only one week, only 400 miles – “I can do that” I told myself. And so I signed up.

I'm looking forward to experiencing thespring beauty of Tennessee and Alabama and Mississippi on the Natchez Trace Parkway. I'm looking forward to learning more about, andtelling people about, the Fuller Center. And I'm looking forward toraising money to support the work they do. If you're interested incontributing to my fund-raising goal, you can do so by clicking here.

Now, if only the snow would clear off of Denver'sstreets so I could get out and train.

Touching the Divine

2012-01-14T11:13:00.000-07:00

half-round, the moon hangs
low on the horizon
I catch a glimpse, look closer, and
am taken back a week to
when it lit the sky full,
round, clear; when it seemed
close enough to touch, as in a
mountain lake on a
perfectly calm night when you
reach into the water,
touching the moon, and sending
ripples across the reflected sky
just as the water ripples
across the bowl ... font ... ever time
I touch that storied, holy
water
as I touch the water,
tentatively or boldly, I reach,
perhaps longing to touch the divine
just like children, in awe,
gingerly approach our
crèches, seeing the shepherds
surrounding Mary and Joseph, but
reaching directly to the center
longing (as maybe we all do)
just to touch the divine

Bishop's Election, Part One

2012-01-06T17:03:00.001-07:00

In my little corner of the church, in the Rocky Mountain Synod of the ELCA (Evangelical Lutheran Church in America), we have begun the process of thinking about electing a bishop. What this means, for us, is that people have submitted the names of people who they'd like to see be considered in the election for bishop. Given the fact that our polity and policy is for nominations to be made at the assembly that will elect the bishop, these submissions don't carry any real weight.

There are 64 people on the list of potential nominees ~ but the reality is that if any of these people are not nominated at the assembly, they won't be considered for bishop. Also, there could be any number of other people who are not on this 'potential' list that do get nominated. For instance, Pastor Bob might have been potentially nominated (his name is on the current list), but unless someone writes "Pastor Bob" on the nominating ballot at the assembly, he won't be considered. Also, Pastor Lisa might not have been potentially nominated, but if someone writes "Pastor Lisa" on the first ballot, she could be elected bishop.

Also, those 64 people now have the opportunity to write biographical information that will be published, so that assembly voting members can make themselves familiar with those on the potential list before the assembly begins.

Besides the obvious problems with this process (that these 64 people will have greater name recognition, and therefore greater elect-ability at the assembly; and that it's convoluted and relatively unclear to many people), I also see problems with the demographics of the list. As I peruse the list, I see only three out of the 64 who are younger than 50. I have to admit that I'm guessing about people's ages, but I'm pretty sure I'm right.

Now, there's nothing wrong with people over 50 ~ absolutely nothing. The problem is that the church doesn't seem to recognize leadership potential in younger people. And before you say 'A bishop really ought to have some significant experience in church leadership', I'll tell you (my seven readers) that we used to much more regularly elect bishops when they were in their 30s and 40s than we do now. Of course, the people who were in their 30s and 40s then are now in their 50s and 60s and 70s.

We used to elect younger people to church leadership positions in synods and in congregations and in all expressions of the church. However, it seems to me that over the last couple decades, the baby boom generation has not been willing to let go of power. Sure, boomers are willing to let a 20- or 30-year-old lead, as long as the younger people do things the old way; but that's not giving up power, it's just managing from a distance.

(Yes, I realize I'm stereotyping; yes, I realize that not everyone in the age groups I'm identifying fits the profile I'm articulating; yes, I understand that you might be different; you have to also admit that, despite examples to the contrary, there's truth to what I'm saying.)

So, to have a potential slate of 64 'potential nominees' which contains only three who are under 50 reflects the unfortunate reality that the church is aging (which we knew). I think it also reflects the fact that the church is afraid to allow younger leaders to really lead.

I think many people in the church long for perceived-but-never-really-lived glory days of the church. Because of this, we continue to look for leadership from those who were around then, and neglect leadership from people who might have a different vision of who we are called to be as people of G-d in the world right now.

I'm not trying to get rid of older people; I am, however, advocating for some room in leadership for some younger people to serve. Electing, or at least seriously considering, a 40-something-year-old bishop would be a good start.

$0.02

Amtrak, New Year's Eve

2012-01-01T15:41:00.001-07:00

I used to take the train back and forthwhen I needed to go places. I rode the train from Chicago out toMontana one year for a summer job in the national park, but mostoften I'd ride the train between Denver and Austin when I was onbreak from school. The thing is (the train system in westernUSAmerica being unfunded and therefore inefficient as it is), theroute between Denver and Austin went through Chicago. No one wouldmistake Chicago as being on the way from Austin to Denver, but itworked for me, 'cause I got to lay over in Chicago for a couple dayswith my folks, who lived there at the time.

Now, I've never ponied up for a sleepercar, always hoping for an empty seat next to my coach accommodations, so I couldstretch out just a little bit more. But most of the time, especiallyas the skies darkened, I found myself in the club car. Often, I'd spend the time reading books I brought along ~ once in a while, I'd end uptalking with whoever else was also on the train and not sleeping.

One year, on the way from Chicago toDenver, I had set my book down in favor of a conversation with the other people in the club car ~ one ortwo other Americans and a couple of Australians. The two Australians werespending a couple months exploring the US countryside traveling byrail. They'd been hither and yon, back and forth, and seemed to bethoroughly enjoying their travels. They told me they'd met somesurprising and interesting people almost everywhere they went. Wetalked into the night about theology and philosophy and travel andculture and who knows what else.

At some point in the evening, someonelooked at their watch and wondered aloud if it was really 12:15 inthe morning ~ which triggered for all of us the realization that aswe rumbled across the middle of Nebraska, the new year had caught upwith us without giving notification.

It didn't take long for our newAustralian friends to open up their cooler and crack open a bottle ofcelebratory sparkling wine. We toasted the new year and newtemporary friendships with shared wine drunk from scavenged papercups, and promptly fell back into the conversation that had beeninterrupted by a page turn on the calendar.

I don't remember if, after we wanderedoff to our respective coach seats for a couple uncomfortable hours ofsleep, I ran into them again on the train, or if we partedways without noticing. What I do remember is one unique andinteresting new years eve on a train.

New Year's Day

2012-01-01T09:15:00.001-07:00

a turn of the page on the wall
the tick of a clock hand -
this one, especially
as it made its way around the globe
seems more significant than the others

setting aside the old, and
embracing the new -
is it more notable today?
more meaningful on the day
when the third number
(__/__/**) changes
than any other day ...
say, for instance, May 23rd?

together, though, we mark this time
with hope and expectation
the New Year
    not yet having explored its potential
offering the hope of new and better
    (habit and pain, too, but we choose
to hope ...

remembering (or not) that
new year's day is always,
    still
Christmas

Political Awareness; A Moment in Time

2011-12-30T23:27:00.003-07:00

We were on the deck, taking a breakfrom summer camp staff training, when we heard the news. Pouringover the newspaper, my friend made the announcement, and everyone whowas there got angry or sad or frustrated or all of those combined. I, however, stood there dumbstruck, not understanding how the 1989 eventsat Tiananmen Square had any impact on my life.

I still don't understand very well thepolitics leading up to this incident, and I certainly didn't at thetime. What I do remember is being rather startled that people my agewere so concerned about what was happening on the other side of theworld ~ and my confusion was exacerbated by the fact that we'd justspent a week or more at staff training, almost completely isolatedwhat was happening in the world around us.

Today I follow as closely aspossible to what's happening in Washington, the Occupy movement,Tahrir Square and across the middle east, the Mexican border ~ but that day, on the deck, wasthe first time I began to realize that I should pay attention to what's going on in the world. It's the first time that Iinternalized the importance of having an opinion, and that my opinionbe deeply rooted in my faith. Thanks, fellow summer camp staff, forsharing that piece of your selves.

$0.02

Money in the Church

2011-12-29T22:57:00.000-07:00

Every congregation I've ever been partof has struggled with finances. Contrary to the popular opinion thatthe church is swimming in extra money (though the Roman Catholicchurch may well be, I'd venture a guess that individual RCcongregations struggle to make ends meet), many congregations aren'table to bring in enough funds to do the ministry to which they feelcalled.

My own congregation has wrestled withthis issue over the past couple years, and is doing so again as weanticipate the upcoming fiscal year ~ which has got me thinking abouthow we decide what to pay for and what to cut when there's not enoughmoney to do everything we feel called to.

For instance, we may well say thatyouth ministry is important; we may well say that evangelism isimportant, that expanding our presence in the community is important;we may say that adding to the church staff is important, thatproviding a free vacation bible school is important, or that hostinga huge party/bar-b-q/carnival for the neighborhood is important.

We can say out loud that these thingsare important. I learned long ago, though, that if we want to knowwhat's actually important to a congregation (or a household, or agovernment), look at where the money gets spent. *Now, bear in mind,I'm not talking about those households who have to make choices aboutwhether to pay for food or rent ~ when I mention households, it'sthose who have discretionary funds available.*

For some households, what's importantis having a boat; for some, they spend their money on cruises andother travel; some spend a lot on home improvement. The list ispotentially endless. But where the money goes, I believe, indicateswhat that household views as important.

Also, consider our nation (USAmerica). If we were to assume that what's most important is that which wespend the most on, we'd probably conclude that conducting war is themost important thing to our nation, and that bolstering healthcare or poor communities or school districts is pretty far down the list(but that's a post for another time).

I'm not thinking about those thingsright now ~ I'm thinking about congregational budgets. If a personwere to look at the budgets of many congregations (especially manyELCA and other mainline congregations), we'd have to conclude thatthe most important thing to the congregation is the building. Thisis particularly true if we add to the mortgage the heat and lightbills, the insurance, the lawn and building maintenance, and all therest of the upkeep on the physical property.

We can say all we want that evangelismor youth ministry or outreach is important. The trouble is that ourbudget sheets tell a different story. Even if we really and trulybelieve that buildings are not important, we're stuck with them. Congregational leadership is stuck with decisions that were madebefore they entered the decision-making process. Other people madethe decision to build a building on credit, and to saddle the futureof the church with that debt. Sure, most of those decisions weremade at a time when the neighborhood was booming. Thirty years ago,the neighborhood where the congregation I serve is situated was thenew part of town, the growing edge where people with means went tolive. Now, people with means live farther out, and the neighborhoodis substantially poorer … but we're stuck with the debt incurred byprevious leadership.

So I'm stuck lamenting. We can't stoppaying the heat and light and mortgage. But if push comes to shove,and the budget has to be cut, it's not the heat and light andmortgage lines that will get reduced. We have to reduce the linesthat go to ministry. We have to reduce our vacation bible schoolbudget; we have to reduce our youth ministry budget; we have toreduce our outreach budget, and all the other non-essentials. Thetrouble is, if we're only making loan and utility payments, how arewe different from a social club?

It's getting to the point where Iwonder, What's essential to being the church? What one thing isit about church that, if it were gone, we would no longer be thechurch?

$0.02

Advent Solstice Reflection

2011-12-22T12:55:00.003-07:00

solstice, the darkest day

when despair seems,perhaps,

to be most immanent

when hopelessness, maybe

is most fully incarnate

yet, we gather ourselvesinto the

warmth of home, the

warmth of sanctuary, the

warmth of community, the

warmth of fire, the

warmth of the Word of God

and when we gather,

we tell surprisingstories

stories of who we are –

but we don’t tellstories of

despair, of hopelessness

Hope, and Light, and Lovepervade

times of darkness anddespair

see, we have seen Christborn,

God entering vulnerableinto our life

we have heard wordsincarnate

as the things we speak,good or ill

become truth

we have tasted bread andwine

sweeter and richer andsubtler and deeper

than any narthex cookiescould be

and we know we will again

in the face of despair

Gospel is light,

breaking into ourdarkness

Light is Gospel

pushing darkness to theedges,

the outskirts,

the margins

Then, we can’t help butto look into the darkness

where, perhaps,

far from the place wehuddle around

light and warmth andcommunity

we see Christ banishingdarkness

even where we cannoteven see light

which, according to some,is hope –

trusting what we believeto be true

despite all the evidence

despite all the evidence,

darkness in so many formssurrounding us

we proclaim light

Word of God

continually coming intothe world

and, as we begin again,every day, to

believe and hope,

we might humbly echo Mary

‘Let it be with meaccording to your Word’

allowing our being toreflect,

into darkness

Divine Light

Scattered thoughts on feasting

2011-12-15T08:55:00.000-07:00

Feasting. We're in the middle of theseason for feasting. Between the parties, the special dinners, thecookies and candies that seem to be everywhere, and the snacking inthe kitchen while preparing to feed others, it seems like we can'tget away from feasting. It starts, sort of, at Halloween (when I'msure I'm not alone in raiding my childrens' candy stash). Then thepatriotic Thanksgiving feast lasts a few days; then, as soon as theturkey's gone, we're going to parties and baking for Christmas. Evenmany people who don't celebrate Christmas probably get wrapped up inthe holiday feasting.

I have to say, I love feasting. I lovegetting together with family and friends for a beautiful andsubstantial meal. I love celebrating some special event, whetherit's personal or communal or societal. I think, though, that we'velost an understanding of what it means to feast. No, that's wrong. We still know how to feast; we just don't know how to not feast anymore.

There was a time in human history whenmost of our meals were simple; when we ate essentially the same thingevery day, and meals were relatively simple to prepare. Every sooften, a few times a year, the community would gather together tocelebrate something ~ a religious observance, a changing of seasons,or maybe the harvest. The food at feasts was more substantial, moreabundant, and probably of greater variety. The food at feasts wasoften richer, more fatty and therefore more flavorful. Theextravagance of feasts marked something special.

We still mark special events withfeasting. Truth be told, though, we could feast every day if wewanted to. We in the western so-called first-world have access totremendous variety of food every day. We have access to tremendousamounts of food every day. We have the ability to eat on a whim, andso I think that feasting has probably lost some of its significance.

Plus, since we have easy and cheapaccess to processed, chemical-and-fat-laden, 'food' ~ which fills ourbelly without actually promoting health or wellness (all while whatgrows naturally out of the ground has become comparatively expensive~ prohibitively so, for those who live in poverty), there is verylittle distinction between (what used to be) the plainness of regulareating and the richness of feasting.

It's gotten to the point that we'reoften no longer to differentiate between regular eating and feasting. And most of us are so removed from any awareness that this patternis (physically and emotionally and spiritually) unhealthy.

Of course, I'm pointing out what I seeas a problem in our society without promoting any feasible ways ofworking toward a solution. The trouble is, I don't think there is a'fix' short of re-vamping our entire economic system by removing theridiculous profit from the food industry (is it really ok totrademark seeds?), and by advocating for better patterns of eatingacross society.

But that's probably a bigger projectthan what I can tackle today.

$0.02

Advent In the Wilderness

2011-12-04T20:17:00.001-07:00

up against the desperation of the
     holiday season
we set spiritual desperation, as we
     ourselves
are found in the wilderness, where a
     voice is crying;

a voice cries amid the wilderness of
     shopping malls,
the wilderness of holiday parties,
     of credit card debt
of the loneliness of the dark, and the
     darkness of the lonely

a voice cries, cutting through, though
     still and small
with good news: the Word of life is
     among us, bringing
comfort, comfort, even into this
     holiday wilderness

Advent New Year

2011-11-28T07:16:00.001-07:00

new year begins swathed in a
surprising quiet of blue, as if
I am suspended, neither buoyant
nor leaden, but simply still still
still. I feel no need to breathe,
nor even twitch; everything I know,
in this moment, is trust. And I
come to see that, perhaps, this
Advent suspension reveals the
blue waters of baptism in which
I am constantly suspended,
enwrapped in unmitigated
Grace, needing to neither breathe
nor even twitch, but simply Trust.

Signs

2011-11-22T22:51:00.001-07:00

On my facebook wall tonight I saw two photos, one after the other. I'd seen both already, since folks have been posting them all day ~ but the fact that they happened to be juxtaposed like they were made me pause for a moment.

The first was soldiers holding a sign that read "Occupy Bagram: Quit your Bitchin' and get back to Work".

The next reads, "If they enforced bank regulation like they do park rules, we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place".

It seems to me like a person would fall into one of these camps or the other. In fact, it seems to be true that our entire political system is set up so that you have to take one side or the other every time there's a conversation about anything. It seems like, in this case, if you agree with the soldiers then you're against the protesters. And if you agree with the protesters, then you're against the soldiers. Perhaps that's too stark of a dichotomy, but that's the way it ends up playing out on facebook and in the news.

Of course, some could argue that they two opinions ought to go hand in glove. If the OWS protesters could get a job in this economy, they would probably have already followed the advice of the soldiers. And perhaps if the authorities had enforced bank regulations, there would arguably be more jobs available.

Then again, at the same time, others could argue that the protesters are spoiled, and their complains are about nothing substantial; that other people are getting by just fine, thank you very much, on hard work and sacrifice.

Personally, though, I'd prefer to live in a world where war is not necessary because we recognize the value of each individual and community enough to not kill each other. I'd prefer to live in a world where protest is not necessary because we recognize the value of each individual and community enough to not let anyone go without being able to do meaningful work and make a contribution to society. I'd prefer to live in a world where bank regulation is not necessary because we recognize the value of each individual and community enough to not greedily gain for ourselves at the expense of our neighbor. I'd prefer to live in a world where park regulation is not necessary because we recognize the value of each individual and community enough to respect, use wisely, and not pillage or degrade our natural resources.

I suppose it sounds like I'd prefer to live in the Kingdom of G-d ... and perhaps I would, because (at the danger of creating G-d in my image), that's what I imagine the Kingdom of G-d looks like. What I wonder is, why aren't we working harder together to make it reality? Is it just greed and selfishness, or is there something more that keeps us from that work?

$0.02

Full Moon in the Morning

2011-11-22T08:45:00.001-07:00

light colors the sky
brightening the morning
darkness, adding depth
to my perception as I walk
out the door, preoccupied
with the work day

as I walk out the door, any
preoccupation vanishes,
replaced by wonder at an
almost-full moon, hanging
(suspended as a lamp from a
rafter) though, as the sun rises
the moon begins to seem
out of place, surprising
in its superfluoucity

The Three Rs

2011-11-20T10:06:00.001-07:00

Reading and wRiting and aRithmetic help us to make our way through the world. Take, for example, the simple act of grocery shopping. Knowing the Three Rs would allow a person to WRITE a grocery list, to READ the ingredients list on food packaging, and to use ARITHMETIC to comparison shop for the best prices. The Three Rs are absolutely important to our functioning as a society; if we don't teach these things to children, I have to believe that the future looks pretty bleak.

I'm sure there was a time in the history of western society when learning the Three Rs was an adequate education. Of course at that time there were no televisions or computers, there was no air conditioning, there were no automatic weapons in the hands of normal citizens, and junk food laden with corn syrup and hydrogenated oils were much less prevalent. All of these things conspire to keep children inside and imaginatively stunted.

There was a time (when Three Rs education was adequate) that children's entertainment involved running around the neighborhoods or the fields and pastures. There was a time (before music became professionalized) that people would play music together in the living room or on the front porch.

I believe the schools were wise, as our home lives moved more and more predictably inside, to make sure that music and art and physical movement were part of the curriculum. We as a society saw the value in educating the whole person, instead of just the Three-Rs-basics of the intellect. At one time, the Three Rs were enough, because we received the rest from the rest of our lives.

These days, though, we seem to be making the mistake of assuming that if the Three Rs were enough then, they're enough now as well. We make the mistake of ignoring the changes that have taken place in our world. We make the mistake of removing art and music and physical education from our schools to balance the budget.

We make these mistakes because we make the mistake of not wanting to pay taxes because we believe that having money in today's bank account is better than investing that money in our children and the future of our society.

Now, we could climb up onto our high-horse-pedestal and say schools shouldn't need to teach art and music and physical education because families ought to be making their kids get outside, that families ought to be exposing their children to music, that families ought to be turning off the television and the computer. We could say that ~ but we also must recognize that as much as we might say it, it isn't going to happen.

So we have a choice, as a society. We could say that the Three Rs are enough, and that we're willing to surrender our children to the trappings of poor health, cultural ignorance, and the power of advertisement, thereby allowing our children to become little more than passive beings with atrophied muscles and atrophied minds. In this case, we can continue to pay teachers barely a living wage, seeing them as unskilled laborers and treating them worse (as if the degrees they've earned and the hours they spend dedicated to teaching our children are meaningless and insignificant).

Or we could choose to raise taxes and fund schools the way they should be funded, paying teachers the professional salary they deserve as professionals.

Because I dream of a more just and compassionate and beautiful society for the future, I choose the latter.

$0.02

At the DMV

2011-11-19T07:38:00.001-07:00

I spent three hours at the DMV the other day. I know, I'm not the only one. It seems like if anyone wants to complain about inefficiencies in government, or about long lines, or if anyone wants to just generally complain, the DMV seems to be a perfect target.

For this reason, every time I've gone into the DMV, I've done my best to be cordial and polite, and tried to recognize that the people who work there probably receive complaints all day. Plus, I'm sure they hear 'jokes' and other comments even when they're not at work. So I do everything I can to treat these people well when I find myself at the DMV.

However, I found my patience wearing thin in my most recent DMV endeavors. Here's what happened ... my sob story, if you will:

We boughta new car. Well, we bought a used car, new to us. I foundthe car at a smaller dealer up in Boulder. And just to befinancially safe and responsible, we took out a loan to pay for thecar. Now, I'll admit that I haven't bought many cars before, soI was unfamiliar with the paperwork that goes along with buying acar, and trusted the dealer and the credit union to guide me through.
Now, I wastrying to be responsible. So, a couple weeks after I bought thecar, I went in to the DMV to get it registered. After waitingfor an hour, I got to the counter where I discovered that it takesweeks for the paperwork to arrive and be processed. That hourwas my fault.
So Ireturned a couple days before the temporary tag expired. Afterwaiting for over an hour, I discovered from the polite woman at thecounter that DMV had received the paperwork, but hadn't had time toprocess it yet (but that the would over the weekend). Theyissued me another permit, my hour having been wasted.
So Ireturned the next week, and again waited for an hour. When Igot to the counter, the worker there informed me that the paperworkhad been returned to the loan agency because it was incomplete. It should be noted here that I had a copy of the missing form withthe papers in my possession. At this point, either the loancompany had lost this piece of paper, or the DMV worker had missed itin the packet. At this point, I needed a new temporary permit ~but this time I had to pay for it.
Two weekslater, the paperwork had not been received by the loan company. However, I needed another temporary permit, so had to return to theDMV again. This time, the wait was three hours. When Igot to the counter and explained the situation, I was informed thatI'd need to pay for another temporary permit.
Finally,after over two weeks, the paperwork made it to the credit union,where they discovered that the DMV had simply missed the form in thepacket. But since I had paid off the loan during the threemonths I'd been dealing with this, I was able to hand carry thepaperwork to the DMV. So I took it to the office, waited myrequired hour, and got up to the counter where the worker had troublesorting through the different forms, since the loan paperwork was nolonger pertinent. But I came away, after five trips to DMV,four of them necessary, I came away with plates for the car.

I know this is a first world problem, and that many people in the world deal with much bigger issues than mine. But most of my waiting could have been alleviated. During my three-hour stint on the one day, someone standing near me asked, perhaps rhetorically, why it was taking so long. Perhaps to his surprise, I offered an actual answer. I believe the waits were so long, and the process was so slow, because the DMV is understaffed. And I believe the DMV is understaffed because people don't want to pay taxes. When I said this, my new friend asked if I didn't think we were paying a lot of taxes already (between income and sales and gasoline and all the rest).

After pointing out that taxes are lower than they've been in decades, I told him that I'm paying anyway. I'm paying for my lower tax rate by waiting for hours at the DMV. I'm paying for my lower tax rate in repairs to my car when it's damaged on roads that aren't maintained. I'm paying for my lower tax rate when my insurance and medical expenses rise. And we're all paying for a lower tax rate (especially a lower tax rate on the wealthiest among us) as we struggle through a recession brought on by ~~a housing crisis~~ ~~a banking crisis~~ greed and politics.

We're also making our children pay for our lower taxes today, because the education we're providing them is substandard ... because we're unwilling to pay more in taxes. But that's for the next blog post.

$0.02

November at the Concert Hall

2011-11-14T09:08:00.001-07:00

outside, rain turns to
snow as autumn's grasp
weakens, succumbing slowly
to winter's impatience;

winter disappears inside
the warmth of wood
vibrating sympathetically
with metal pulled taut;

as snow still falls, sound
fills the room, bouncing
off the walls and into our
souls, warming us from within

All Saint's Sunday

2011-11-06T20:33:00.002-07:00

children's playing
intrudes upon and mixes with the
first Sunday in November litany
as it brings to mind and heart
saints of all times and places

are those, the littlest making noise,
raindrops from such a
great cloud of witnesses?

brief ode to the cello

2011-11-04T20:20:00.004-06:00

toned and tuned from the lowest to the
upper range of the human voice

and played with the whole body,
sound emanating from the
heart of the player's being

the cello may very well be
the
most
sensual
instrument

Taxes and Education

2011-11-03T09:01:00.004-06:00

I was talking with someone on Tuesday about taxes. We were talking about taxes because Tuesday was voting day (which took me by surprise, having learned in school that voting day is the Tuesday after the first Monday in November ... did we change that without my awareness?), and because there was a proposal to raise taxes on the Colorado ballot.

The revenue from this tax increase would have gone to pay for schools. As it turns out (the votes having been counted), the proposal failed miserably. Of course, as you can see from the previous blog post, I voted in favor of this increase. It makes me sick that this measure failed ~ it makes me sick from my perspective as a citizen, and it makes me sick from my perspective as a Christian.

As a citizen, I find it to be tremendously short-sighted that we prefer individual comfort in the short term to societal well-being in the long term. Sure, each household may end up with a little more money in our bank account next year; but having chosen to continue to underfund our schools, we are dooming the long term well-being of our society.

It seems to me that one question we haven't resolved, a question we might not have even adequately asked, is the question, 'What is the goal of public education in this state/country?' If our goal is that students graduate knowing how to read, how to write, and how to do basic and essential math, we could do that job with much less money than we spend now. If, however, we choose to value educational goals that are not as easily measurable (skill in and appreciation of art and music and literature, long-term physical fitness, critical thinking skills, etc.), then we must fund schools so that we can teach these things to our future, because most of those items are being (or have been) written out of school budgets.

If we choose the former, we will end up with individual graduates who can read and write and do basic math. If we choose the latter, we will end up with a generation who can build a healthy, sustainable, and life-giving society. I choose the latter, and for this reason will always vote in favor of tax increases that will benefit schools.

On the other hand, as a Christian, I find it unconscionable that any Christian would vote against this sort of measure. Sure, the educational issues mentioned above may have a role to play in our decision; but ignore those completely for a moment. For Christian adults to vote against increasing taxes which would benefit schools teaches Christian children that looking out for the self is more important than looking out for the other. In a word, it teaches greed. Whether you have children in your household or not, is this what we want our Christian witness to be? We can say all we want about loving other people, but children pay more attention to what we do than to what we say; and if our actions don't follow our words, then our words are meaningless.

I wonder whether the fact that so many people think that our nation is a Christian nation causes problems for our faith. It seems to me that if we see our nation as a Christian nation, we will assume that our national values are Christian values ... and, often, they most certainly are not. But that's a topic for another blog post.

For now, I'll simply hope that other measures end up on future ballots, and that we come to our senses.

$0.02

Tax Increase: Schools

2011-10-28T13:43:00.000-06:00

I was asked recently whether I'll vote in favor of or against Colorado Proposition 103. Colorado Proposition 103, if passed, will increase both sales tax and income tax in the state of Colorado for the next five years, with the additional revenue going to fund schools.

I almost always vote in favor of tax increases, especially those that will benefit schools ~ and I'll probably vote yes on this one, too.

As I understand it, though, there's disagreement about whether the proposition is well-constructed, though. Part of the trouble may be that the tax increases might impact poor people the hardest. Poor people won't be affected by the increase in state income tax (since they don't have enough income to have to pay that tax), but they will be hit harder by the increase in sales tax than richer people.

We're talking about two different issues, though. There is certainly a question as to which income bracket ought to bear the greatest brunt of the tax increase. But before that, the question is whether schools have adequate funding.

There are certainly some who say that increased funding has never produced better results. Obviously more money does not necessarily equal better schools. However, it seems to me that better results are much more difficult without increased funding. One is not a direct result of the other, but the one is impossible without the other. If it were true that lowered funding had no effect on performance, we could run schools for free ... which is (I hope) obviously absurd.

Now, some people also say that the schools don't need increased revenue ~ we just need to get rid of teachers unions. The extension seems to be that if we get rid of unions, we could balance the schools' budgets by lowering teachers' salaries (or firing teachers who are too expensive). I have to take issue, though, with the opinion that an average salary of less than $50,000 is too expensive.

(Of course, any time anyone mentions labor unions, there's bound to be strong differences of opinion about the efficacy of those groups. Obviously they aren't the favorite entities of business owners, since they have a tendency to cut into profits. At the same time, unions are certainly necessary, since without the power of collective bargaining, many business owners would succumb to the pull of greed at the expense of workers. Plus, just like any institution, both unions and business owners have the potential to become corrupt.)

At the end of the day, it comes down to a question of values ... particularly, what do we value? Do we value more highly our ability to increase our bank accounts? Do we value more highly our ability to buy things right now? Do we value more highly ourselves and our present circumstance?

Or are we willing to be a couple percentage points less well-off right now in order to invest in schools; in order to invest in our future? Because I'm afraid that if we're not willing to invest in schools now, we're condemning the future to tremendous desperation and hardship, which our national ancestors did their best not inflict on us. And that, I believe, is ridiculous and wrong.

$0.02

Financial Collapse

2011-10-26T08:46:00.000-06:00

Europe's leaders are meeting to further discuss the Euro-zone debt crisis. In USAmerica, we still have not worked our way out of our own economic woes. Sure, they tell us the market is rebounding, but that seems to be only in the market ~ regular people are still struggling to find work, while the purchasing power of their paycheck continues to diminish. Governmental leaders aren't actually doing anything other than yelling at each other about the best way forward, while bankers' and CEOs' paychecks are through the roof and corporations rake in record profits.

A couple years ago, the government (read: taxpayers) bailed out the banks that were on the verge of implosion, because (the way I understand it in my feeble mind) if they were to fail, the whole financial system would collapse.

So, it seems to me that this is where we stand: banks took big risks with money that belonged to regular people; the risks didn't pay off; the banks, who took the risk, are punished by being given loans so they can stay afloat; the bailed-out-risk-takers, as a result of their punishment, are now making more money than they were before the crisis. At the same time, those of us who didn't take huge risks (those of us who actually funded the bail-out) are rewarded with stagnated wages, a poor job market, and huge concerns about an economic future that doesn't seem to be improving for anyone besides the tremendously wealthy.

More than a couple times in recent weeks, I've heard the maxim 'greater risk results in greater rewards'. What I haven't heard is anyone reminding us of the flip side, which is that with the potential for greater reward comes the danger of greater loss. Maybe it's because if we believe that financial institutions are too big to fail, they don't actually take on any risk of loss. If we continue to be willing to cover their losses, they will continue to manufacture bigger and bigger risk. But it's our risk for their reward. They're not a danger of loss ~ it's the taxpayers and regular people on whom they put that risk.

The thing is, if I've made an investment, I don't mind taking a loss (it doesn't make me happy, but I understood the risk when I made the investment). What I don't like is when I have to take a loss because someone else made a bad investment.

What I continue to wonder is what would actually happen if those banks had been allowed to fail? I hear that our financial system would collapse. OK, this would probably result in a period of panic and chaos.

But it wouldn't last forever ~ so, then what? We'd start over, with something new. And maybe, at least for a while, it wouldn't be so disproportionately unjust.

Meanwhile, in the wake of banks' collapse and financial distress in Iceland, the people have kicked the government to the curb ~ real democracy seems to have momentarily reared its head.

$0.02

diner conversation

2011-10-25T07:11:00.001-06:00

alone in a diner
surrounded by conversations ~
new lovers behind me; and
at that business meeting
over there,
a ceo's quiet confidence
belies middle school taunts
which surface every time she
smells chalk - but it doesn't
stop her from closing the deal
while the waiter ignores the
lovers, who never notice him
sneak into the kitchen to
pour black coffee over
his hangover ~
but they're not my conversations ...
I've been talking with eggs and
tortillas; but they're gone, their
interest having waned long ago.
now I'm left to wander, still alone,
out into the continued
anonymity of the city street.

Sappy Seasonal Poem ~ Autumn

2011-10-24T09:37:00.000-06:00

autumn infuses everything,
assaulting all my senses
like retail christmas ~
starting in september, but
unnoticed after a couple months

autumn's colors, though, appear
both more brilliant and more muted
than the red and green of fake holly

the wind blows leaves to crunch
underfoot, as well as the
warmth from my ears

soon enough the ground will be
covered with fallen frozen flakes

for now, though, the lightest frost
burning off at the first hint of sunlight
is enough to take us
gently toward winter

Stop Light

2011-10-23T19:33:00.001-06:00

It was after I got a bike ~ a real bike, that would travel quickly down the road a long distance, not just a kid-riding-around-bike ~ that I saw something notable as I was riding as a passenger in a car.

The first bike I had was a single speed, bmx-style, coaster brake equipped bike that I loved riding around the gravel and dirt where I grew up. But eventually I began to covet other bikes ~ 10-speed bikes, with more than one gear, and brakes on the handlebars. One year I got one, which was very exciting. Before long, I was watching Connie Carpenter and the 7-Eleven cycling team on tv. And I wanted to start cycling.

I upgraded from the department store special to a real road bike ~ lighter and sleeker, with a phenomenally understated paint job. I got cycling gloves and cycling shorts, a cycling jersey and a campagnolo cycling hat; and I started spending time on the two-lane country road at the end of our quarter-mile gravel driveway.

Of course, once I started riding, I started noticing other cyclists on the roads. One day, as I was observing cyclists, I saw in front of us in the left-turn lane, a notable guy on a bike. The light was red, traffic was stopped, and so was he. But his feet were still on the pedals ~ and knowing what I had recently learned about toe clips, I could see upon closer inspection that he hadn't even bothered to loosen the straps. His feet were tightly affixed to the pedals as he stood still, balancing behind one car and ahead of the one I rode in.

When the light moved to green, off he went, leaving us behind, stuck in traffic.

That was 25 years ago; but I hope that guy is still riding through Austin traffic, trackstanding his way into some other teenager's imagination.

Bishop Election ~ some initial and scattered thoughts

2011-10-22T20:57:00.000-06:00

My synod is entering a process of preparing to elect a new bishop.

* pause *

I'm not sure how many of my seven readers are familiar with the intricacies of the polity of the church I'm part of, so I want to briefly explain. I'm a pastor in the denomination known as the ELCA (Evangelical Lutheran Church in America). Our denomination is divided up into geographical areas known as synods. (This use of the word 'synod' may cause confusion, because there are two other Lutheran denominations in this country that are known as synods. In those cases, 'synod' is used to refer to the entire denomination.)

There is a bishop in each of the 65 synods of the ELCA. The role of bishop is filled by a pastor who, upon election takes on the title 'Bishop'; and who, upon vacating the office of bishop (literally and ecclesiastically), takes again the title 'Pastor'.

The only requirement to be elected bishop is that a person should be a pastor in good standing in the ELCA.

*resume*

The process of electing a new bishop is, appropriately, bringing up the question, 'What kind of pastor should we elect to be bishop?' ~ which leads to, 'What role should the bishop serve?', or 'What does a bishop do?', and then, 'What functions should the office of the bishop prioritize?'

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that if ten Lutherans got together in a room to respond to those questions, they would probably come up with a dozen different answers. What most of us naturally will do is to look at previous bishops we've known, consider how they functioned compared with how they could have functioned better with regard to congregational life, and look for someone to serve as bishop who would fill the roles the previous bishop did not.

I wonder, though, if it helps to look back without also looking forward. What if, instead of finding a bishop who will be what the previous bishop was not, we look for the best bishop for the future (instead of a bishop who would have been good in the past)?

What's going on in the world that our election of a bishop ought to take into consideration? Among other things, the world we move through is much less hierarchical, and much more interconnected, than it was when our denominational structure was established. We seem to be suited to make this denominational shift, since our polity never allowed for a hierarchical ecclesiastical structure ~ bishops, in our tradition, really have very little 'power over' congregations. But will we embrace a newer worldview, or will it smack us in the ecclesiastical face as we try to hold on to an old model that doesn't work practically in the midst of a newer worldview?

Then, to consider function. I have to say that I don't believe much actual ministry happens through the synod office. This is certainly not a critique ~ rather, it is a statement of fact, and a recognition of reality. Synod offices ought not be trying everything they can to do ministry ~ that is best left to congregations. The synod office would better serve the Gospel, I believe, by actively equipping congregations in their role of living the Gospel in the particular communities where they find themselves.

What would it be like for the bishop and the office of the bishop to actually act like most of the significant ministry in our synod is happening in congregations? What would it be like for the (office of the) bishop to function as a clearinghouse for stories of good news, a place for congregations to search for resources, and a conduit for connecting people and congregations with one another?

In short, what if the (office of the) bishop would become a real-life, ecclesiastical combination of Google and Facebook and Twitter?

Some initial thoughts ~ I'm sure there will be more as the election nears.

$0.02

Public Theology

2011-10-21T15:55:00.000-06:00

I was first captivated by the academicpursuit of religion in a course I took my first year of college. Thecourse was Religion, Literature, and Film. I was astounded to learn that religion could break out of the churchbuilding in ways that didn't involve mission or conversion. Further,it was eye-opening to learn that religion could critique society, andthat the arts could critique religion. (Yes, I know this seems naïve~ I guess I was somewhat sheltered in small town Texas.) Beyondthat, we got to read novels and watch movies in class.

I'vecome to appreciate the discipline of noticing the intersection ofreligion and art. Digging into this conversation between religionand art strengthens my faith, especially when the artist is obviouslycommunicating a criticism of my own tradition.

Butmaybe more than looking for the obvious, I like to deciphertheological and religious themes in artwork even when the artist isnot (obviously) working those into their work. For this reason, I'vealways been excited when I've had the opportunity to participate inTheater and Theology. Theater and Theologyis a monthly event which brings people from different local Lutherancongregations to the theater (along with whoever else bought ticketsfor the show that night) to see a play. That's the theater part. The theology part is after the play, when the audience is invited tostay in the theater and the cast invited back onto the stage for atheological talkback.

Thisseems like a prime opportunity for someone who is relatively fluentin theological language to lead a conversation where moral andethical and sociological and theological themes in the production ~especially those themes that many people might not have noticed, ormight not have language to understand or articulate ~ can behighlighted and investigated. Unfortunately, though (and this may bebecause people are interested in the logistics of the production morethan the theology), this kind of deeper theological conversation hasnever happened at the Theater and Theologyevents I've participated in.

RecentlyI went to see the Theater and Theology productionof To Kill A Mockingbird. The play was fantastic. Unfortunately, though, in the talkback wegot caught up in talking about racism and bullying; about thedifferences between the book and the play; about how much school thechild actors were missing. These are great topics for conversation,but they none of them were taken into theological depths, orarticulated within a theological framework, which was disappointingfor me.

Inparticular, I would have loved to hear the actors respond toquestions of how justice in the face of hatred (which are obvious inthe play) might be related to original sin. See, injustice pervadesall of our society, all of our lives ~ is this way, it is the same asoriginal sin. How would the actors respond to the question, 'Are westuck with it?' or “Are our attempts to right societal wrongsfutile, because we all sin and fall short of the glory of G-d?” Iwould have loved to hear the actors, especially those who played BobEwell and his daughter Mayella, reflect on the difference betweentheir character and themselves as actors, particularly as related toour Lutheran Christian articulation of simil justus etpeccator (at the same timesinner and saint).

I'mperfectly willing to admit that I'm something of a theological geek,and I stipulate that not everyone gravitates toward this kind ofconversation like I do. At the same time, though, it seems to melike people are longing for theological conversation, for ways tomake religious sense of the world outside the church building ~ andthis kind of event seems like a prime opportunity to explore thosetopics as a community.

Which,I believe, is part of the job of pastors ~ to publicly maketheological and religious sense of the world. And if we who are partof mainline and progressive threads of Christianity don't do thismore obviously, we relinquish the public voice of Christianity to theevangelical fundamentalists.

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everything disappears

2011-10-18T08:42:00.001-06:00

in the high country
everything disappears
except the route ahead,
dirt or rock underfoot
and the contour of
the next ridge

laundry at home is
still in piles
waiting alongside the
office inbox

yardwork and meetings
will wait; though
the phone in my pack
may buzz, picking up
a tower down the valley
let it buzz ~ i only
brought it accidentally

so unless it's
on the next cairn
it's disappeared

eyes in the face of death

2011-10-14T12:25:00.002-06:00

life, sometimes, feels like
lament
punctuated by moments of
joy
and, for the lucky,
under-girded by
deep satisfaction

for some, though
satisfaction is elusive;
then, joy is nothing more
than fleeting happiness

we see it when
faced with death
our own, imminent,
or briefly glimpsed
reveals quickly
what's underneath:
terror, or contentment;
regret, or deep satisfaction

in our own experience
and in the eyes of one
who sees,
(as if having read
the last pages of a mystery)
the way their life will end

in their eyes,
desperation is desolate
while satisfaction
is nothing but
beautifully hopeful

Microwave, Part Two

2011-10-11T08:47:00.000-06:00

Here's the thing about making assumptions and presumptions about the Body of Christ ... the Church ~ I'm almost always and inevitably proved wrong. Yes, the microwave had a sign on it for a couple weeks. Yes, in the corporate world, a CEO or other manager would have directed an underling to take the broken appliance out right away ... or would have praised and promoted a mid-level manager who took the initiative to take care of that issue without any instruction. And yes, I could have directed someone to take care of it, putting myself in the role of congregational CEO.

But church is not (or, maybe, ought not be) corporate. It may take a little longer, but in a healthy church system, those who are called to a particular responsibility will take on their job at the appropriate and proper time. At the end of the day, the microwave was disposed of by the team who had, long ago, accepted the responsibility of maintaining the congregational facilities.

Sometimes, obviously, corporate life is more efficient than life in the church. But I prefer the (ideally) egalitarian, though much slower and messier, life that the Church (Body of Christ) models and embodies.

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Smoking Man on Skates

2011-10-09T14:47:00.003-06:00

a shirtless guy
just went by;
I saw him beside the
edge of my eyes;

I turned to see
what seemed to be
a man on skates,
and in this scene

he cupped his hands
around his face ~
then all that remains
in the place

he left behind
as he flew by
the cafe window
where I pass time

is (disappearing more
slowly than his
skates roll)
cigarette smoke

Health Care Rant

2011-10-03T21:02:00.000-06:00

I have to say, I'm baffled by the health care conversation in our country (USAmerica) these days. It looks like the Supreme Court will eventually take up the issue of whether the government can mandate that everyone have health insurance.

I think we're asking the wrong question. The essential question, the essential divide in this country that I don't hear many people talking about (and I recognize that I might not be listening in the right places) is the question of whether each person deserves to receive health care as a basic right.

If we say 'no' ~ if we say that health care is a privilege, and not a basic right ~ then the government has no business being in the health care management business. The extension of this position is that hospitals should not be required to provide emergency room care to individuals who are not able to pay. The extension of this argument is that we should require everyone to pay for their care, either out of pocket or through insurance.

In this case, everyone who is not able to afford (or chooses not to obtain) health insurance, and gets sick, will either lose all their money and be forced to the street, or will chose not to get treated and possibly die of a treatable disease.

On the other hand, if we say 'yes' ~ if we agree that health care is a right, and that everyone deserves access to medical treatment ~ then it is incumbent on us as a society to provide medical care for everyone in a manner which does not force a choice between food and medicine, or between treatment and housing.

In this case, some will be treated unfairly. Those of us who are healthy will end up paying more in order that those who are more unhealthy do not become worse-off because of an overwhelming financial burden.

I, as a Christian, am forced to take the latter position. It is immoral, and more importantly it is sinful, that we are more concerned about paying less in taxes in order to pad our own bank accounts than we are about our neighbor.

But even from a purely capitalistic and conservative perspective, corporations providing health insurance (and care) makes no sense. Right now, I pay for health insurance. I also pay taxes that eventually go to care for sick and injured and homeless persons who do not have health insurance. My taxes pay for police officers and fire departments, for social workers and hospitals who care for those without insurance.

Right now, I'm paying for my own health care and for the health care of those who can't afford it. But I'm making payments in two different directions ~ one, to the government for taxes; and the other, to insurance and drug companies which seem to report record profits each year.

So, if we say that health care is not a basic right, then we as a society are saying that the wealthier are more important than the poorer ... we are saying that all people are not created equal.

If on the other hand, we say that everyone deserves equal access to health care as a right, then the government should be in the business of providing everyone health care. Sure, it may cost each of us a little more in taxes. At the same time, we'll no longer need to pay for private insurance. Plus, when society has access to health care, we end up with a healthier society ~ and that's good for everyone.

$0.02

rambling post about a non-functional microwave

2011-10-03T16:43:00.000-06:00

A church kitchen that I'm familiar with has, among other things, a microwave oven. Obviously this, in itself, is unremarkable. However, the reason I'm remarking is because, apparently, this particular microwave oven isn't working. I make this assumption because it has a sign on the door which says something like, "Do Not Use: Microwave Smokes when in Use"

Now, church buildings have, by and large, been non-smoking for many years, so that's not the unusual part. What grabs my attention is the fact that the microwave oven has been sitting there, on the kitchen counter, with the same sign on its door, for probably a couple weeks.

The closest I really ever got to working in the corporate was as a temporary factory worker a long time ago; so I can only imagine that, in the corporate world, a broken microwave oven would probably be gone pretty quickly.

I do, however, work in the church; and in the church, it seems to me that it's extremely difficult to ever get rid of anything. Every congregation I've ever been a part of has this same issue. If I were to take a walk around most church buildings, I imagine I'd find storage rooms and closets and file cabinets and bookshelves filled with items that haven't been used for years and that really aren't worth anything to anyone.

Why is it that we, the church, are so reluctant to get rid of anything?

Is it because we find value in what's old? Maybe ~ we certainly do turn regularly to the old writings of scripture, and we often participate in rites that have been in use for many decades, if not centuries.

Is it because we shy away from conflict? Perhaps we're concerned that if one person gets rid of something, they'll discover later that the thing they got rid of was highly valued by someone else in the congregation.

I think, though, that there's more going on. It may not have always been true (and I don't know if, 150 years ago, most church buildings were as cluttered as they are now), but I think members of congregations are reluctant to throw stuff out because we don't like to take responsibility ~ which again, like most things, boils down to money.

Here's the thing. Our society has become so very consumer-oriented, that I think we don't even know how to talk about anything other than a contractual exchange. What I mean is that, when I go to the movie, a semi-contractual exchange takes place. I pay my money, and the theater provides me with entertainment. When I go to a restaurant, I exchange money for food.

In church, though, we enter into a covenental relationship with one another. We agree to participate in a faith life together, within a community. There may be money involved, but money given should be as a response to the action of the divine ~ G-d's grace ~ rather than as a payment for whatever a person feels they've received.

The trouble is that there are so few covenental relationships extant in our society. We don't know how to talk, or think, about these other than as contractual ~ I pay money to the church, and the church provides me a religious service.

I believe that we are so steeped in contractual capitalism that we don't know how to think differently about the covenental relationship necessary in a faith community. And this, at least to some degree, is why there's still a non-functional microwave in the kitchen ~ because many people, deep within the depths of their being (and without realizing it) think that since they've paid, someone else should do the work of deciding and throwing away.

I'm probably wrong, but that's what I think today.

$0.02

unmistakable aroma

2011-09-26T07:52:00.003-06:00

sweet smell punctuated by
chemical overtones;
it's an aroma that permeates
the whole parking lot,
the entire courtyard,
and especially
the elementary school
cafeteria

all it takes is
one little plastic packet
red sauce oozing out of
that white, one-ounce
red-tomato-decorated tube
proclaiming 'ketchup'
(or, perhaps, 'catsup')
for the whole world to see

but if it's been spilled,
even a little bit,
and left to dry, un-cleaned-up
a skin forming as it seems to
shrink in size overnight
we don't need the word on the label
the aroma gives it away

Personal Relationships and Government

2011-09-23T11:02:00.001-06:00

I heard something disturbing yesterday on a radio talk show. In an interview, I heard Representative Paul Ryan (R - WI) say something that bothers me a great deal, and that I believe is illustrative of, and contributes to, many of the problems we have in government.

One of the closing remarks Rep. Ryan made was with regard to a question about how much he has talked with President Obama over the past couple years. Rep. Ryan responded that he is a policy-maker, and is not interested in personal relationships.

Here's the thing. If people don't know each other, if we haven't spent time together socially, then we're much more able to demonize each other. If, however, we are interested in personal relationships, it's much more difficult to yell nasty things at each other. If we have had the opportunity to see that the person with whom we disagree is actually a real person (and not simply a set of bad ideas), we will treat them more civilly, and will be able to have an actual conversation instead of a shouting match.

Right now, in our government (and on the internet ... but that's a whole different issue), there are a lot of shouting matches. If Rep. Ryan was willing to have dinner with President Obama (and vice-versa), maybe they'd figure out that each of them wants what's best for the country. Maybe they'd figure out a way to actually talk with each other, to work together, and to actually get something productive done in Washington. Maybe better personal relationships would increase the likelihood that productive policy-making could happen.

Of course this issue isn't restricted to those two individuals ~ we're all guilty of the same thing.

$0.02

Rambling post, again, on taxes

2011-09-19T13:59:00.003-06:00

I saw, in my son's packet of stuff he brought home from school, a surprising number of fund-raiser requests and solicitations. These, to my eye, aren't for extra trips, or for events that are additional to the normal school routine. They are for items like library supplies and computers and , which seem more essential than superfluous to me.

We seem to see ourselves, in USAmerica, as the best at everything ~ a beacon on the hill, and a model for other nations. And in some ways we probably are. However, we cannot, and will not, be the best at anything unless we invest in ourselves and in our children. Investments of time and energy are certainly important; but in our society, investments are almost always financial. We cannot build a great society if we constantly and consistently refuse to pay taxes. This is our investment.

Sure, it's inevitable that those who spend money will do so badly. But we are still a society ~ people working together for the good of all. And as such, it's better to do something for the benefit of everyone badly than it is to do nothing for others, and remain selfish and self-centered. Of course, it's obviously better to do something well than to do something badly ~ but even if we work together badly, it's better than remaining individualistically selfish and isolationist.

Unless we work together for the good of all, we will inevitably be left with much less than good for each one.

I'm constantly baffled by people who are reluctant to pay taxes. Yes, you'll have a little bit less today ~ but your taxes, collected with everyone else's and invested in (for instance) schools, sustainable energy and infrastructure, and good relationships with foreign governments, will surely yield a much greater return over the long term than keeping a couple extra dollars today to spend (depending on your income bracket) on gourmet coffee or personal airplanes. Plus, if we invest together, perhaps we will live up to our self-proclaimed status as global example.

$0.02

divine mystery

2011-09-19T09:25:00.000-06:00

So far in my life, I have been present for the death of one person. I don't remember exactly how far she was into her nineties at the time, but she had lived a full life.

I got a call from her kids, both in their sixties or seventies at the time, and went down to the nursing home where I had visited her a number of times over the years I'd been one of her pastors. As we stood around her bed that day, we talked about the funeral for a minute or two. Then, we made small talk as we watched their mom's breathing get slower and slower. As the pauses between breaths lengthened, and we watched more closely, it seemed that time itself paused in the space between our breaths.

That day, in a perfectly ordinary room in a perfectly ordinary nursing home, I experienced the presence of the divine in a more powerful and palpable way than I do most days.

I was surprised to be reminded of this as I sat in an interfaith prayer service on the tenth anniversary of the destruction we saw on September 11, 2001. In that cathedral, as Christians and Jews and Muslims each shared a glimpse at their own scripture and tradition, I couldn't help but think that we Protestant Christians have lost the sense of encountering the divine in mystery.

It was most obvious when the Christian leader read from the Gospel. It was a fine reading, well read and well chosen ... but in contrast to the beauty of the chanted Qur'an passage, and in contrast with the beauty of the chanted Torah section, I felt that the reading of the Gospel that night (compared to the reading of the other sacred passages) fell short.

We can never truly and completely understand how the ancient sacred stories work in our soul, or even in our mind. But, for some reason, we continue to come back to hear these stories ... I think because we know, somewhere deep, that we need them to shape who we are. No, we don't need to chant them in their original language to experience the depth of their mystery, but I don't think it hurts to allow the text to work on us in more ways than one.

It seems to me that we sometimes try to manage the mysterious, to control those things which perhaps we ought to simply experience. I love my tradition as Lutheran Christian. I love our practices, our history, our theology, and sometimes our culture. But I also find it beneficial to glimpse the way other people experience communion with the divine, and with divine community.

I'm not interested in cultural appropriation. Especially from my position of sociological privilege (straight, white, male), I'm not interested in taking the 'cool' parts other people's religious practice and pretending that they "mean so much to me".

But I can't help but to think that my life of faith, and more importantly that our society, will benefit by each of us being willing to entertain the possibility that G-d might just be bigger than any one of our religious boxes can contain.

$0.02

What do you believe?, part two

2011-09-11T16:43:00.001-06:00

Our western, postmodern culture, seems to have decided that there are two options for expressing belief.

On the one hand, a person can be adamant and forthright in their belief. Of course, it seems that if a person takes a firm stand professing a particular belief, that person must also deny all others as flawed, and therefore unacceptable. To accept one faith system negates the validity of all others.

On the other hand, a person can profess a willingness to listen to other people with an open mind. It seems, though, that if a person takes the position that they are willing to genuinely listen to their neighbor, they will not be able to make their own statement of faith. To accept the possibility of other faith systems precludes professing any one.

These seem to be the two positions taken by many people in our culture; it's either "there's only one that's right", or "there's no single one that's right". In my estimation, both are positions of immaturity. A person with a more mature faith does not need to denigrate others; neither do they need to accept everything and never make their own statement of faith. Rather, that person can stand confidently and express articulately their own belief without feeling attacked when a person of a different faith expresses something different.

For instance, I am Christian. I am not ashamed to articulate my Christian faith; neither do I feel the need to criticize those who are Jewish, or Muslim, or Sikh, or Buddhist, or anything else. While I believe that I'm right, I accept the possibility ... no, the truth ... that G-d is bigger than I can understand, and that maybe the person who believes something different than I do might also have a valid angle on the truth. To fervently believe that I'm right does not necessarily mean that everyone else is wrong.

Now, I have no particular claim to special maturity in faith. But it seems to me that maybe that's the problem with spirituality and faith in our culture ~ immaturity.

If we only see truth in our own tradition, we miss the richness of the diversity of G-d's creation. It's pretty self-centered to only see truth in ourselves; plus, it's an act of replacing divine with human sovereignty ~ and that's never a good idea.

$0.02

What do you believe?

2011-09-10T23:02:00.000-06:00

It seems to me that our western culture is plagued by an overwhelming lack of belief. Or, maybe not by a lack of belief, but by a lack of belief-backbone. We seem to be plagued either by the credo 'whatever you want to believe is fine', or by the oppression of 'my way is the only way'.

Now don't misunderstand ~ I have no need for everyone in the world to believe the same thing as I do. In fact, it seems to me that the tremendous diversity of beliefs and belief systems adds to the beauty of our world. Furthermore, don't misunderstand me ~ I think it's absolutely necessary that there be a time in people's lives when it's important to not know, yet, what they believe.

What I have an issue with, though, is that people who know what they believe either, 1) feel like they need to convince you that their way is the only acceptable way, and there's no room for anything else; or 2) are so interested in others figuring things out on their own that they refuse to state their own beliefs for fear of contaminating someone else's faith-journey.

There has to be something other than these, something that's more healthy. I, personally, have no need to dictate what anyone believes. But I also don't need to apologize for what I believe. Further, if I am able to state my position with confidence, and if I am able to do everything I can to reflect my beliefs in my daily life ~ in short, if I am more confident ~ then those who are figuring things out have an actual, real-life, tangible something to point to.

It seems to me that if more people lived their beliefs with confidence, while still accepting people who believe something different with grace instead of animosity, we wouldn't have so much made-up, mamby-pamby, doesn't-make-sense, nonsense that passes for faith these days.

$0.02

Diesel in the morning

2011-09-05T22:05:00.004-06:00

Walking through the parking lot this morning, I heard that distinctive rumble and I was reminded that nothing smells like a diesel engine. I'm sure there are probably lots of people around who think they're loud and stinky; I'm sure there are lots of people who associate diesel engines with pollution, interstate truck stops, and loading docks. But whenever I hear, and especially when I smell, a diesel engine, I'm immediately a teenager again.

When I was in high school, I spent my summers driving around in circles on a tractor. Many times, we'd leave the equipment in the field where we stopped working at night, and my boss would drop me off in the morning to start where I'd left off.

Now before we fired up the tractor, there was always preventative maintenance to take care of. The equipment had to be tended to, and it took a few minutes. During those few minutes there might have been a little dew on the grass. During those few minutes I sometimes heard birds or coyotes. During those few minutes, as I went about my tasks, I felt the serenity of anticipating hard work; and it was good.

Before long, I was done getting things ready. I'd look around, climb onto the tractor, and hesitate for a moment, recognizing that as soon as I started the engine, everything would change. The calm would be gone, and the work would be started. I would always hesitate, savoring that small moment before I'd begin again to spiral toward the center of the field.

This morning in the parking lot, I was back where diesel engines always take me. Not to the central Texas heat; not to the flies that swarmed down in the bottom where the breeze didn't move; not to the fire ants that you hoped you didn't park on when the equipment broke down. I was back for a moment in the calm, cool stillness of a summer morning in a half-cut hay pasture.

trust

2011-09-04T22:55:00.001-06:00

I bought a car last week, and my interaction with the used car dealer left me a little off balance. He wasn't the stereo-typical used car dealer. He owns an auto repair shop, and sells cars off that lot. I don't think he was trying to trick me, or to take unfair advantage of me, so that's not what threw me.

It was the conversations we had about money. We had secured a loan, for which I had a reference number in an e-mail on my phone. As soon as I told him that, he seemed to waffle a little bit until he told me point-blank that he doesn't trust e-mails. So we started off the money conversation on the wrong foot. Plus, his business isn't affiliated with the credit union where I got the loan, so there was a good deal more paperwork than if we'd gone to a different dealership.

I figured out what had me off balance, though, as soon as we had the loan secured (paperwork in his hands). See, I had a sizable down payment to give him, but (since I choose not to walk around with thousands of dollars of cash in my pocket) I had to go to the bank. I told him I'd go around the corner to the bank so I could get a cashier's check for the deposit. Before I left, he asked me to write a personal check for the down payment amount (which I would get back when I returned with the bank check).

I had told him I wanted the car; I had spent an hour on the phone tracking down loan paperwork; I had written him a personal check. I had done all that, and still he was worried that I wouldn't come back with the final payment information. Bear in mind, I wasn't driving off with his car. I don't know what had happened to him in the past, but he absolutely didn't trust me.

The trouble, though, is that I think he really wanted to trust me. I think that through his actions and words he was really trying to convince me, and to convince himself, that he trusted me. But he let phrases slip that indicated otherwise:
* Upon receiving my personal check, "That's a good sign you'll come back."
* And when I turned over the bank check, "That pretty much seals the deal."

No, I think we sealed the deal when I gave him my personal check. It's not a good sign, or a 'pretty-much done deal'. In fact, to my mind we sealed the deal when I said I wanted to buy the car. He was selling, I was buying, and we'd settled on a price.

I was off-balance, I think because he didn't trust me. It seemed like he was watching me really closely to see how I'd be trying to cheat him.

Which brings me to my (probably un-answerable) question: why is it that we mistrust one another so completely?

Cycling Shoes

2011-08-26T22:14:00.004-06:00

I have a pair of cycling shoes in my garage. They're made of thin leather attached to a stiff sole. Screwed onto the sole, there's a cleat that makes walking difficult by raising my toe above the level of my heel. But the cleat made it much easier to ride a bicycle. See, there's a slot in cleat that fit perfectly into part of a quill pedal before the whole foot is cinched onto the pedal with a leather strap.

These were my first pair of cycling shoes, which I acquired not too long before clipless pedals became quite so ubiquitous. I remember specifically (though my memory may be faulty) that my parents questioned the wisdom of me buying these shoes. They were kind of expensive for something so specialized, or for something that I'd only be able to use for one very specific activity. They asked whether I intended to continue cycling, or whether it would be something I moved on from before long.

It was a valid question, which I dangerously answered 'yes' ... how could I really know what I'd be doing in the future?

The last time I wore those shoes was for the first triathlon I ever did. It was a winter race, and the stages were started individually, which meant that there was plenty of time to change clothes between swim and bike, and between bike and run. I cinched my shoes onto my pedals at the start of the bike leg while everyone else simply clipped in.

But that day was the renewal of my love of cycling. I'd spent a couple years away from riding much at all, but that day I felt again the thrill of working hard to go fast. That day I also understood the need (need?) to purchase new cycling shoes that fit new clipless pedals.

Were those leather shoes a good purchase? I'm happy to say that my dangerous 'yes' was accurate. I now have others that work much better; but I still keep those original shoes hanging in my garage ... just for me.

The First Time I Ate Jalapeños

2011-08-25T07:57:00.009-06:00

It was lunchtime at the Junior High school, and I chose nachos. Of course I chose nachos, 'cause why wouldn't I? Crispy rounds of ground corn covered with a creamy orange cheese-like sauce. Obviously it wasn't the best choice, but you can't blame middle school students for exploring eating independence.

I don't remember exactly ~ maybe he was in the lunch line with me, or maybe the challenge came before I stepped into the line ~ but one of the older students dared me to eat jalapeños on my nachos. It doesn't sound like a big deal now, but at the time my culinary experience went from bland to potatoes. Cocktail sauce on my shrimp and yellow mustard on my sandwich was about as adventurous as I got.

I have to admit that I had been curious before that day. I'd wondered what the fuss was. I knew they were spicy, but had no reference for what spicy tasted like on the tongue. Was it something that would cause me to suffer? Would the jalapeños stick around on my palate for hours, their spiciness a day-long reminder of a bad choice at lunchtime? Sure, other people ate them, but what about me?

And then my challenger, the older student who dared me to eat jalapeños on my nachos, put three slices of that pickled pepper in his mouth without even a chip. He chomped them down alone, with nothing to temper the spiciness. That did it. If he could eat them by themselves, I would surely survive the common gustatory experience of chip and cheese with pepper on top.

I waited 'til he'd gone. I waited 'til I was by myself so that my reaction, good or bad, would be mine alone. And they were delicious. The flavor infused my mouth; surprising spicy, but also sweet and tangy.

My recollection, many years later, is that lunch that day was a more expansive encounter with flavor than I had experienced before. It's dangerous to read too much into what happened long ago, but today I relish the opportunity to expand my gustatory horizons.

Taxes and the Common Good

2011-08-22T08:09:00.008-06:00

The other day, the first day of school for my son, he asked me why he had to take a different bus to school. He asked me why the bus didn't pick him up and drop him off where it had for the previous three years. I responded, immediately, "Taxes". Then I explained my position to him. See, people want to keep the money that's in their bank account. People want to be able to hold on to the money that they receive in their paycheck. And since taxes necessarily take money out of people's bank accounts and/or paychecks, the electorate often votes against tax increases and elects politicians who promise to lower taxes.

Now that all sounds fine ~ it's good (in a capitalist economy) for a person to have more money in their bank account. They can purchase more, and (since we tend to equate value with financial wealth in this country) people with more money are worth more.

But we tend to forget the other side of the equation. We tend to forget that when tax revenue goes down, our access to services goes down as well. We tend to forget that when we pay less in taxes, the slack has to get taken up somewhere else.

To my simple brain, it works like this: if I paid a little more in taxes, my son could still take the same bus he took last year. But I get to save some in taxes, so I have money in my bank account so that I can pay for the gas it costs for me to drive him to his new bus stop. Of course, he still walks or rides his bike to the bus stop right now, so it's not a factor. At least, it's not a factor until it gets cold. I'm more likely to make him walk two blocks in twenty degree weather than I am to make him walk ten. So this winter, when pollution is a bigger problem here in Denver, more people will be starting cold car engines to drive kids to school. So, since we don't want to pay more taxes, we find ourselves paying for more for gas, and paying more (in the future) for healthcare.

Obviously this is simplistic. Obviously there are other factors to consider. Obviously it's no big deal for my kids to go .75 miles to the bus stop instead of .25 miles. But it's also obviously true (at least to me) that we're scared of even thinking about paying more taxes in this country; and to me, that's an unreasonable fear, since if we don't pay taxes for services, we'll end up paying for those services some other way.

Some people may say it's better that individuals have control over their money. I say, though, what about the common good. When, in this country, did it become better, or more noble, to take care of self to the exclusion of the other.

And it seems like many people who advocate so strongly for lower taxes also call themselves Christian. When did Christians become so publicly selfish? When did we stop advocating for the 'least of these' so that we ourselves could stay rich?

I'm no tax expert, but it seems to me that our selfishness is sinful. I will almost always vote for tax increases, and then work to make sure the government is using our common funds for the common good.

$0.02

backyard garden haiku

2011-08-13T07:02:00.002-06:00

I recall, yearly ~
storebought fruit can't compare to
homegrown tomatoes

Observations from a gathering place

2011-08-12T09:26:00.002-06:00

ten, eleven, twelve
they know
at such a young age
already
(mimicking their parents,
like most of us do),
rattling off with
swift
accurate
precision
their regular
starbucks order

In the tent on a rainy night

2011-08-06T21:40:00.002-06:00

nighttime crushes in on
my eyes - I double-check
to be certain they're open.
I know, tonight, at 11,000
feet, under continual rain
and blanketing cloud cover,
that no light will intrude on
my tent. Tomorrow, rain may
pour from overwhelmed skies;
with or without rain, though
the sun will rise, bringing light
and new vision - so I lay still
in the dark, and trust

Probably not epic, but it felt like it

2011-08-06T14:54:00.006-06:00

A day off, planned since the week before. We were four, having just met weeks earlier, who decided on a day off hike over a pass. We checked in with the rangers, found our route, and looked forward to a quick day-off trip through the national park; respite from the tourons we constantly served at the concessionaire where we all worked for that summer.

A couple tents, food, clothes, and we were set to go. Six easy miles in, we camped around a gentle fire. Up over the pass and down to the shuttle car was the plan for the next day as we ate dinner and got comfortable for the night. Next morning, breakfast, and we're on our way.

We made our way down the wide trail, gradually gaining a little elevation as we approached the approach to the pass. Before long, we crossed the creek marking the end of the day hikers' typical reach; and thus the end of wide, easy hiking.

After crossing the high water in the creek, the trail began to drag us up toward the pass. Naturally, as the trail went up, the temperature went down. We stopped, adding what layers of cotton and knit wool we'd thrown into our hastily-loaded packs the day before.

It got colder and colder, but not unbearable. As we moved upward, every turn brought hope of seeing the start downhill from the pass.

Then, treeline.

No longer was there anything to block the wind that had spent the day whistling above our heads the whole way up. And with the wind came snow. We couldn't tell if it was blowing up from the ground or falling from the sky ~ but that didn't matter to our body temperature that plummeted with every snowflake that penetrated our inadequate layers. One shell and a windbreaker made a valiant but failing effort to stave off approaching hypothermia. Crouching behind a boulder, three of us found the shelter to decide that the pass may or may not be close enough - without a map, who's to know? - and that it was time to bail.

So, shivering, we turned again toward the seven miles we'd just covered instead of the three to the car, and headed back toward last night's camp where we planned to restart a small fire to warm up our almost dangerously cold bodies.

We made good time once we slipped again into the trees; then, across the creek, we flew over flat ground toward shelter until we happen to glance up at the rear end of a large bear lumbering the same direction on the same wide trail we're using. So we bide our time, holding back, waiting 'til our ursine friend allows us access to dinner and a little rest before the 5:15 alarm rings calling us to the next day's breakfast shift.

But before the breakfast shift, a dinner stop. The warm vinyl booth around pizza and beer became a welcome sanctuary from which to reflect on our 27-instead-of-10-mile day.

rush hour

2011-07-28T23:29:00.005-06:00

parkway on a busy day
hurry from the gym,
off to work,
any siren barely heard
over my radio and my thoughts

everyone wonders,
"did i leave early enough?"
and thinks
"if i make this light, i won't be late"

but, what catches my eye
amid the bustle of normal
is butterfly wings
carrying a transformed
caterpillar
on a crooked journey
across rush hour;

she didn't cause this
parkway hurricane
she just showed me,
for a moment,
the eye of the storm

Idealism and Realism

2011-07-28T09:58:00.002-06:00

We need college students. College students are important to our society. Sure, we need them because in future years, they will be taking on the role of leading and managing our society. But we need them now, before they take on as significant role in leadership, social infrastructure, and the economy as they will in the future.

Here's why we need them now. We need their (I know it's cliché) youthful idealism. Society needs their extreme opinions, their firmly-held positions on the so-called right and on the so-called left. We need them to be isolated, to some degree, in the university. We need them to be financially isolated, socially isolated, and philosophically isolated. See, when they're isolated, they're able to view and talk about the world idealistically (instead of realistically). They're able to push the boundaries, to call themselves and others to radical stances and radical actions.

We need these calls from the edges, opinions from the margins. They keep the rest of us honest; they remind the rest of us that what we've come to expect, and what we experience as normal, might not be right.

We do, of course, experience personal and systemic shock whenever the idealistic meets the realistic. It's a shock when idealistic vegetarianism discovered in college meets grandma's thanksgiving dinner. It's a shock when idealistic religious expression discovered in seminary meets a real parish full of real people. It's a shock when idealistic political position meets the real world necessity for compromise, or at least civility.

In this shock, though, is where society has the opportunity to grow. The trouble though, enters in when those who are more grounded in the status quo do not listen to the idealists. If it weren't for some who were willing to listen to wisdom from the fringes, we'd still have institutionalized slavery based on skin color, and women's second-class status would be legal (to name two of the most obvious examples). And if it weren't for those on the fringes being willing to listen to wisdom from the center of society, we'd either all be vegetarian, or there would be oil wells drilled on every other square mile across the country.

The middle needs the fringes (especially those fringes we don't agree with) pushing us to be better. And the fringes need the middle, keeping us sane and civil, and reminding us that we're all in this together.

In my estimation, this is what's missing in our national political conversation these days ~ the fringes aren't willing to listen to wisdom from the center, and the center isn't willing to stand up for what's actually helpful.

$0.02

Story and Music

2011-07-20T21:42:00.003-06:00

I've been spending some time recently listening to two recordings, both of which are recent acquisitions for me. One I picked up for $1.07, plus a lot of sifting through records at Goodwill. It's a National Geographic Society recording of Music From the Ozarks, Copyright 1972. The musicianship isn't "studio quality" ~ it's better. Not technically better, but the music sounds like it comes from the center of life, and that it's interwoven through every part of the musicians' existence. I imagine the fiddles and banjos being passed down from generation to generation. And most of the dulcimers and guitars are homemade. A wooden box, railroad lumber, and some metal hardware may not be as expensive, and may not sound as 'perfect', as a guitar worth thousands of dollars, but it makes music, and that's enough.

The other I received as a gift. It's a new album called "Storydwelling". The idea behind this record, as I interpret it, is that music is a phenomenal way for each of us to share with our community a piece of our own story. The idea, I as I understand it, is not that everyone must become a songwriter and musician in order to tell their story through song. Rather, it is to create a space and a place where people (in whatever way makes sense) can share a piece of their own story.

It seems to me that our contemporary western society has lost most of our predilection for telling stories. We still, as human people, are fed by stories. In fact, television functions almost exclusively as a storytelling device. But these aren't our stories ~ they're fantasies that lead us to false hope and unwarranted unhealthy expectations.

The stories we tell ourselves tell us who we are. Do we want hollywood to take on that role, or do we want to tell ourselves true stories of who we are, and who we will be becoming? What would it be like if we turned off the televisions (and other electronic media) so that we could sing songs and tell stories together?

$0.02

authentic music

2011-07-16T07:30:00.003-06:00

It's no secret that I like music ~ I have since I was old enough to remember. I recall (in the days before online lyric searches) asking my mom to transcribe Wild Montana Skies so I could sing along with John Denver. I didn't, and probably still don't, have the best voice or pitch, but I've always loved being able to participate in creating music.

I certainly appreciate individuals and groups who have a large stage, who are well known, especially if they're playing their own instruments and writing their own music. I've also discovered, and rediscovered, that I really enjoy listening to artists who aren't big names. And hearing artists who I've met, who I've personally interacted with, play their music is something that really thrills me. It doesn't even matter whether the music is great ~ what I resonate with is that the artists put themselves in a vulnerable position, sharing themselves in a way that transcends the simple spoken word. But when the music is good, when the lyrics fit with the lyrics and with the music in compelling ways, it's a much deeper experience of music (and maybe even of the divine) than the latest pop song snaking through a white earphone up from a pocket ever could be.

Of course, I'm guilty of listening to music through those white earphones on occasion. I have to say, though, that I have three albums of music on my ipod that (a) I enjoy listening to, and (b) I enjoy listening to much more because I've met the artists.

Live in Vermont by Kent Gustavson and Micah Schonberg sounds like an ideal evening on the front porch ~ a couple guys who know each other well playing music together. This record makes me think of what music ought to be at its most fundamental level ~ that which brings people together and creates community.

Another album that continues to get under my skin is Captive Audience by the duo Fair Witness. I met these two amazing musicians at the Greenbelt Festival a couple years ago when I was there leading the musicians who played the Light Into the World liturgy (written by Kent Gustavson ... see above). I went to their CD release show at the festival. Seeing them live added so much to the lyricism of Suzanne's voice and Sandy's guitar, that I've been listening to them ever since.

The third record is Storydwelling by Heatherlyn. I met her when I preached for a group of high school students who were beginning a week of service work in Denver. As soon as Heathrlyn started singing, I was hooked. But beyond the music, what grabs me about this album is the idea behind it ~ that through music, we can share deep parts of our own story with one another, thereby healing relationships and creating community. And it's not just the idea ~ the music is good. Much of what she does walks a comfortable line of tension between 'I'm a Christian" songs and real songs about real life & real people (can you tell from my tone of blog that I dislike the former and appreciate the latter?).

These three records are reminders that one thing we're missing in our over-electronicized world is that most of us don't create music together. In fact, I think I'll turn off the computer right now and go practice the fiddle.

$0.02

Woman Alone at the Bus Stop

2011-07-13T16:07:00.004-06:00

you could see it in the
curve of her shoulders, the
slump of her back.
you could see it in
her eyes
a hint of her former confidence

self-assurance
was easy
in her teens, and even
through those first years
after college
"Anything is Possible"
she said out loud, and even
believed herself
"The World is My Oyster"
and other clichés

but the years have
weighed on her shoulders, and
dimmed the gleam once
omnipresent, always
surprising everyone who
looked in her eyes.

now, for parties,
job interviews, and most
grocery store runs
she puts on a
standing-tall-smile

which masks the pain just below
a confident façade that gets
chipped away as she daydreams
in the anonymity of a city bus stop

Last Night's Rain

2011-07-13T13:46:00.007-06:00

last night's rain
keeps this morning
still cool
today will warm,
but the morning still
- along with my steaming tea -
provides respite and
anticipatory sanctuary
from noon's heat

later i'll see him,
sleeping bag draped over a
shopping cart -
last night's rain treated
me better than it did him

someone used to camp in that bag,
high in the mountains.
it's been rained on before;
only for a minute, though,
waiting for the seam-sealed tent,
fly pulled taught against
mountain wind and stinging sleet,
to be erected -
then, down comfort sheltered in a
nylon sanctuary

today there's a new sleeping bag
lighter, more compact
that didn't experience last night's rain,
so the old, given away,
now dries on a shopping cart and
with luck and dry sunshine
will provide some comfort
against tonight's rain

I miss cycling

2011-07-11T13:06:00.004-06:00

Today I'm five weeks past ankle surgery; I go to see the orthopedist in a couple days so that he can evaluate my recovery so far and direct my continued recovery over the next weeks. What I'm really hoping for is that I can stop wearing the (hot, cumbersome, smelly) boot that I've been wearing which has stabilized my ankle through the initial weeks of recovery.

I'm looking forward to getting the boot off, even though the thought causes some anxiety about how secure I'll really feel. I'm looking forward to the rehabilitation work I'll be doing to strengthen the inner workings of that ankle, so that hopefully it'll be stable in the end.

But more than anything, I'm looking forward to being able to exercise again. I haven't been able to do any cardio workouts for the past month, and I've been too lazy (or maybe discouraged) to do much strength training. And of the possible cardio workouts, I've missed cycling the most. I miss morning training rides; I miss riding my fixie through downtown; I miss commuting to work; I miss riding to the grocery store, and riding home with a backpack full of healthful food that will fuel more riding; I miss riding around the neighborhood with my kids; I miss riding with my kids to where they need to go; I miss the little bit of singletrack riding I take time to do.

Hopefully the doctor will tell me on Wednesday that I can start getting back into shape, and that my ankle is strong enough to handle some time clipped in and spinning down the road.

FrankenFoot

2011-07-06T23:57:00.003-06:00

So, I've been walking around for the past four weeks with a big, rigid, post-surgery boot on my foot (which is referred to by one member of my household as a FrankenFoot). It's designed to keep my ankle stable so it can heal. I've had people ask me recently how much longer I have to wear the boot, and I've had people commiserate with me about how much of a pain in the neck it is to have to wear it.

Honestly, it has hardly been an issue at all. At first, I wore it all the time, because my ankle hurt, and the boot provided protection. Then, I wore it most of the time, taking it off whenever I was planning to be stationary for a while. Now, I generally walk around the house with no boot. Of course, I'm very careful about how I walk, making sure to only step on flat and stable surfaces.

For the past couple weeks, I've been able to walk around on almost any terrain, with the boot on, without any problems at all. The boot provides so much stability for my ankle, that I'm fully confident in my ability to get around.

Next week I go to see the doctor. Hopefully, at that appointment, he'll tell me that the boot is no longer necessary, that I'll be able to begin physical therapy, and that I can actually get a cardio workout again. Two weeks ago, I expected to be getting more and more excited as the time I had to wear the boot got less and less. However, this has not been my experience.

"One week to go", I told someone today. Then, when I examined my feelings, I realized that I was excited, but at the same time somewhat anxious. See, as soon as the boot comes off, the dangers of uneven terrain become much more of a problem. I'm sure that eventually my ankle will be healed and strong enough that I'll be confident walking around. But to lose the boot, my security and stability, all at once means that I'll be vulnerable. I've gotten used to the boot, and especially to the stability it provides. But if I don't take it off, my ankle will never gain any strength, and I'll continue to have to rely on stability coming from outside, instead of building up my own strength.

There's got to be some pithy moral in there somewhere, but it's too late to figure it out.

$0.02

a prayer for the 4th

2011-07-04T11:15:00.003-06:00

let freedom ring
across our nation
for me and for my american dream

let freedom ring
for immigrants today
just as freedom beckoned
my own ancestors to these
self-proclaimed hallowed shores

let freedom ring
in the workplace,
that workers, managers, and owners
are free from the bonds of poverty
and free from the shackles of
excessive wealth

let freedom ring
all across the globe
freedom from tyranny, and
freedom for self-determination
even when their opinion
doesn't match ours
even if they won't end up
emulating us

let freedom from warfare
ring loudest of all
freedom from our national
addiction to violence, and
give us freedom from our
national need for
perceived superiority;

let freedom ring -
freedom discovered in
humility and service

may we recognize and honor
every nation under G-d;
may G-d bless america
and may G-d bless
(just as much)
all of G-d's children in
every nation.
amen.

remembering Wild Goose

2011-07-03T21:11:00.006-06:00

months of flitting back and forth
on twitter, and
facebook encouragement
drew us through the air &
along the roads
to green fields
edged by woods, and
touched by southern sun

tents sprang up,
sanctuaries day & night
as we,
body of Christ
gathered,
sheep in that field,
becoming flock
for the weekend;
all of us yearning
one way or another
to be found again;
yearning to belong

music and words, spoken & sung
- shared -
brought us together
even while illuminating our differences

yet we are bound,
held together,
by the unpredictable and
inevitably surprising
Holy Spirit,
at times, wild as a goose

Fourth of July

2011-07-01T13:35:00.004-06:00

I saw a t-shirt recently that said "Land of the free because of the Brave", which reminded me that the Fourth of July is coming up. Here in USAmerica, we'll have parades, we'll celebrate the genesis of our nation, we'll honor and recognize the sacrifice made by individuals and families who serve our nation.

Most of our respect and honor will be directed toward those who serve our nation in the military. Military service members make huge sacrifices in order to do the work to which they are called. There is tremendous danger, especially for those who are deployed to combat areas. Even when a service member is not injured, they make significant sacrifices (they are moved away from family and friends, there is tremendous stress when family members are separated by deployment, and many of the freedoms the rest of us enjoy are curtailed in the course of their service). It is entirely appropriate that we honor members of the military for the work they do.

The piece of our Fourth of July celebration (and our other nationalist celebrations) that always give me pause is the type of patriotism which assumes that the work of the military maintains freedom for the rest of the nation. I'm not sure that's entirely accurate. Yes, this may be an inflammatory statement, but hopefully my seven readers will bear with me for a moment.

The major conflicts in which our military has been involved during the twentieth century (as I recall them) are: World War One, World War Two, Korea, Vietnam, and Iraq. None of these wars and conflicts actually threatened our freedom or sovereignty. The closest we got to having a foreign entity encroach on our soil was the attack on Pearl Harbor which catapulted us into World War Two. And remember, at the time of the attack, Hawai'i was a US territory (Hawai'i was admitted as a state in 1959, well after the end of the war). There was no realistic threat to either our sovereignty or our freedom during the twentieth century.

And so, the sacrifices made by members of the military through the twentieth century were made on behalf of citizens of other nations rather than US citizens. To sacrifice for one's own group (or family, or nation) is certainly admirable and honorable. However, in my mind, it is a greater sacrifice to put oneself at risk for the other, for someone who is an outsider.

Of course that changed on Sept. 11, 2001, when there was a deadly attack which happened on USAmerican soil. I would argue, though, that the attack was intended to inflict injury rather than to take over our land; and so, even then on that horrific day, I'm not entirely convinced that our freedom was threatened, unless we consider financial institutions (which led us to the recent economic meltdown) to be inseparable from our freedom.

But still, I will conceded that the conflict in Afghanistan may be directly related to the defense of our freedom. However, this is now the longest-running military conflict in the nation's history. And it seems like, perhaps, the enormity of our military expenditures have restricted led to a slower and more prolonged economic recovery ... have led to fewer economic freedom for USAmericans.

Even still, we should absolutely and without question honor the work of the members of our military for their service to our country. I'd also be curious, though, what it would look like for us to more consciously and obviously honor people who are called to other vocations than military, but who still serve our nation nonetheless. What about honoring civil servants, AmeriCorps volunteers, public officials? Though it has become the most obvious, there are more ways to serve the country than the military.

$0.02

immature faith

2011-06-30T17:35:00.000-06:00

I'm spending this week at confirmation camp. For those who aren't culturally Lutheran, confirmation camp is where middle school students spend a week at summer camp with middle school students from other congregations. Tangentially, I would take some time to compare and contrast Lutheran confirmation camp with other types of summer camps, but this is the only thing I know; so if you want to compare and contrast your experience with mine, I'd be glad to do so, but I need to know more about your experience.

Anyway, the young people from my congregation are having a good experience at confirmation camp. They're singing songs, playing games, making friends, studying the bible, and all the other things you should do at a summer camp in the Rocky Mountains. And, despite the reality that it may not seem like it sometimes (you know how middle schoolers can be), I believe they're faith is growing. I believe they are being led by Holy Spirit into a deeper relationship with the Divine.

The faith they are growing in to is immature. Since by and large these students are just beginning to be able to think abstractly, they are not able to think about faith in ways that are complex and nuanced and in-depth. For 11- to 14-year-old people, immature faith seems pretty appropriate.

However, at least in the cultural Lutheran world where I find myself, it seems like this is where faith stops maturing for most people. See, in the cultural Lutheran world, what seems to be typical is that we learn about our faith in Sunday School when we're young; in middle school, we spend some time (two or three years) of more intense study, after which we are confirmed (we affirm our baptism). Then, beginning in high school (and having been confirmed), we are given the choice about whether or not to continue to participate in the life of our community of faith. Many of us choose to not do so. And many of us don't ever choose to return to church. Some, though, do return when we begin having children. We want our kids to have a church and faith foundation, and so we return to the community of faith. However, we find that we rely way more than we ought to on the church institution to pass on the faith, since many of us are stuck with a faith that hasn't matured beyond middle school.

This is a failing on the part of parents, though to a very small degree. It is a much bigger failing on the part of the church. We seem reluctant to challenge people, reluctant to wrestle with the difficult aspects of our tradition, reluctant to point out elements of our life together that aren't biblical. We give teenagers a choice whether or not to be part of a faith community, which is the same choice that adults reserve for themselves. I wonder if we as church leaders are scared to challenge people too much for fear that they'll make the choice to stop attending worship, or to join a different congregation, or to stop giving money ~ any of which would lead to congregational budgetary problems. Or maybe challenging people just makes us uncomfortable.

What we need is a church that people want to be part of. Many people recognize this; unfortunately, though, most people deal with this by turning to marketing- and presentation-oriented solutions. Advertise better, or make the worship and programming flashier, and people will be attracted. And it seems to work, at least to a certain degree. People will come, but when they do they'll expect to be entertained instead of challenged.

What we need is to challenge each other, and support one another as we struggle together. When individuals' faith and a congregation's faith are mature, it is obvious ~ lives and communities are changed for the better. And people are attracted to change.

At camp, young people find themselves spiritually vulnerable ~ the good camps take advantage of that vulnerability for the benefit of the campers' faith. If the church doesn't do the same, doesn't challenge people beyond their comfort zones into places of faithful vulnerability, we will not mature, and the church will become nothing but a self-serving club concerned only with its own existence.

$0.02

Rambling thoughts on Wild Goose, recorded music, and living life

2011-06-28T14:03:00.002-06:00

I spent last weekend at the Wild Goose festival (as you know if you look at some other recent posts). As I understand it, nothing at the festival was recorded. Sure, there are photos floating around, and some people may have created audio and/or video recordings of small bits of what happened; but by and large, nothing was recorded. The conversations, the talks, the sacred space elements ~ none of it was recorded.

What might intrigue me the most is that none of the music was recorded. I heard a line on a radio show yesterday ~ I don't remember the topic of the conversation, only the phrase “unrecorded music” ~ which made me wonder, what is the value of unrecorded music?

There isn't a great deal of unrecorded music in our society these days. We go to concerts so that we can hear the songs that we like listening to on the radio. Or we go to concerts to hear something we haven't before, expecting that if we like the music, maybe we could buy a recording. Recording devices have become so small, cheap, and easy to use, that it seems like everything we ever do very well may end up recorded and published on you tube or facebook or someplace else. You never know, the band you're going to see tonight may well end up being the most important band of next year, who just haven't been discovered yet ~ doesn't it make sense to pull out your phone and record the show?

Some events, though, aren't nearly important enough to record. I attend a couple different bluegrass jams – you know, where people who may or may not know each other sit down together and play music. Usually some of the musicians are good, and usually some aren't. And most of the time, the group sits in a circle while the only people who are listening to the music are the ones in the circle. The music is only for those who are playing it. It's not worth anything to anyone else, and so it's not worth recording.

The thing is, though, that I believe the fact that it isn't worth anything to anyone other than those who are creating it makes it more valuable. Sure, we can experience and appreciate the experts whose music approaches near enough to the ideal that we save it for the sake of its beauty and ability to inspire. But creating music in the moment, especially when we're not recording what we're creating, allows us to sink ourselves deeply into the music as it happens, shedding pretense and any preoccupation with perfection.

This is why I'm glad Wild Goose wasn't recorded. Allowing the event to exist fully in that weekend makes our experience more valuable. That weekend is now fully contained and recorded in the memories and experience of those who were present ~ fully contained in human experience, child of G-d connecting with child of G-d, instead of being digitally diluted on a hard drive somewhere.

It is enough for us to have been fully present in that moment – in moments like that, we experience the fullness of the gift of life.

$0.02

I can't decide

2011-06-26T23:28:00.001-06:00

I can't decide
music, in my computer
crisp, clean,
bass deep and
treble ringing
while on vinyl
scratches and imperfections
muddle what sounds perfect
as mp3

I can't decide
book readers bring me
multiple volumes in a
slim, portable package
every pixel in its place
then, picking up a bound volume
a few pages fall out and
and many others are dog-eared
with pencil marks obscuring
the printed page

I can't decide
from my computer
the library computer,
or my cell phone
I send messages instantly
to be stored in an e-server
probably forever
while ink smudges on
eventually brittle paper
only to arrive at its destination
days later

I can't decide
facebook conversations
are easy ~
I 'like' what I like
and pretend not to see
what I don't
while I bury my face in the
computer screen
doing what I can to
escape or avoid
uncomfortable
face-to-face encounters

the perfect and quick
and digitized
has become necessary
important
ubiquitous
but the tangible and imperfect
worn and used
scarred but serviceable
is essential to
our humanity

Wild Goose, day three

2011-06-26T07:33:00.003-06:00

Day three of the brand new Wild Goose Festival, and the camp is waking with subdued excitement. Yesterday, we got up excited for the day; by contrast, today, it seems like folks are making that mental and emotional transition from here at the festival to whatever's next.

It has, in my opinion, been a good festival. There's been good energy, good conversations, good music, good art ~ a good spirit about the entire festival, from my perspective.

One thing I have noticed is that there seem to have been vastly different preconceptions about what this festival would be like. Most people were probably expecting an event that fit perfectly with our own faith. Some are evangelical, and wanted an evangelical festival. Some are progressive, and hoped this would be a progressive festival. Some are post-denominational, or post-evangelical, or post-Christian, or universalist ~ and each seemed to be hoping for (and maybe even working to form) a festival that fit with their own perspective.

With more years under its belt, Wild Goose will develop its own culture, and people will have a better idea what to expect and how to engage the event. However, it's been fascinating to experience the initial iteration of the event, especially since I'm pretty sure (based on what I've heard from speakers and musicians, and overheard as I passed by conversations) everyone has at one time or another been uncomfortable and heard something they disagree with. My firm belief is that we cannot grow without some discomfort. Everyone has had an opportunity to grow. The only way it would be possible, here at Wild Goose, for anyone to not be challenged and to grow, would be if they were so entrenched in their own position and opinion that they refuse to take in any new information.

I believe that Wild Goose will continue, will mature as an event, and will be a valuable addition to the faith conversation in this country. We seem to so often find ourselves spending time with people with whom we have a great deal in common ~ which I believe has contributed to the ridiculously hostile and vitriolic disagreements so prevalent in this country. I find an event like Wild Goose valuable if for no other reason than that there is a relatively diverse group of people of faith all in the same place together ~ and the conversation has been civil; no one is screaming at each other.

Thanks be to G-d.

$0.02

Festival Glimpses

2011-06-25T06:59:00.003-06:00

one to seven
peaceful, but not enough time
-
birds' song,
melodic,
harmonious,
far superior to
abrupt, mechanical,
screaming alarm clocks
-
the campgrounds wake,
anticipating
poetic language
breaking open the
reality of
eucharist,
community,
faith,
relationship
while blending aurally with
music the stage
music from the children's tent
conversations walking by
blending with
new encounters,
new relationships this weekend
-
peripherally and tangentially
informing the regular
normal
ritual of life

Wild Goose

2011-06-24T08:46:00.001-06:00

I'm spending this weekend at the Wild Goose Festival. It's a new festival ~ this is the first time it's happened ~ and has been billed as a Christian justice, art, and music festival. It was started by some folks who have spent time at the Greenbelt Festival, which has been an annual event in England for over thirty years. I've been to Greenbelt once, a couple years ago, and was excited about the prospect that something similar might happen in this country. Here are some observations from the beginning of the festival.

Obviously it's not fair to either festival to compare them, but I will anyway.

Because it's been happening for so long, and because many of the same people are there every year, Greenbelt has a culture, an ethos, a sense of comfort with itself ~ Greenbelt has a maturity that Wild Goose doesn't have yet. Of course, there's no way we should expect a sense of history or culture from an event that's less than 24 hours old.

I often find myself eavesdropping on conversations happening around me. I'm not sneaky about it ~ I simply sit in a public place and listen to conversations happening around me. One thing I've notices is that when people interact with one another, especially when we encounter each other for the first time, we often approach a conversation as if we have it all figured out (whatever 'it' is). If a goal of this festival is to engage one another in conversation, we necessarily have to listen to one another. I'm going to spend the next couple days looking for people who may be confident in who they are, in where they come from, but who at the same time (in their confidence) are thoroughly interested in listening to and learning about each other.

The other thing I've noticed is that this is what I've seen from the adults. The children just jump right in and almost instantly create normal. They don't come with any pre-conceived notions about how this event should be.

Certainly what the adults are doing is valuable; but I wonder if the adults are simply creating something that the children will grow into what it should be.

$0.02

Worship

2011-06-22T01:12:00.003-06:00

I tend to believe that the sermon is the least important thing that happens in worship. Sure, many of us preachers tend to spend way more time writing sermons than we spend preparing the prayers of the people; way more time writing sermons than we spend writing eucharistic prayers; way more time writing sermons than we spend choosing hymns or reading scripture or coordinating with the altar guild to make sure the sanctuary is appropriately adorned.

Despite how much time we spend on the sermon, I still believe it's the least important thing we do as worship leaders. Not that the sermon is unimportant; quite the opposite. The sermon is important, because it's an obvious and tangible way that our corporate worship connects us to contemporary life. But it's not the only way.

I've often said that the only way I get anything out of the sermon is if I preach it. And then it's usually in the preparation. I listen to plenty of sermons, but it's rare that I remember anything from any of them. On occasion (maybe one time out of 100), I will be moved by a sermon. Not that there's anything wrong with the preacher or the preaching ~ it's just not how I've always connected with G-d. I've always been much more inclined to encounter the divine in the poetry and music of song as opposed to the spoken word. Further, the rhythmic back-and-forth of proclamation and response verse of liturgical worship can occasionally draw me into a holy communion in ways that sermons never have.

Beyond all that, when I preach, I fully expect my words to be flawed. I expect Holy Spirit to do divine work through my words, and I do not take the role of preacher lightly ~ but my words will be flawed. They're probably not as important as some in the congregation make them out to be. Isn't it enough to be together with the community, encounter the living Christ through story and word and meal and song and community?

Sure, preaching is important. But if that baby in front of you is screaming, and you can't hear the sermon, maybe it's G-d trying to get your attention. Maybe today G-d doesn't have anything to say to you through the sermon; maybe G-d's message is to be found in the child who some would call a distraction.

When will we move beyond the marketplace question 'what do I get out of worship?' and on to the communal question, 'how are we being church together today?'

$0.02

storm sky

2011-06-19T21:23:00.002-06:00

the sky
as a storm passes
changes ~ ominous then,
now hopeful
as a dark-shadowed
fat frontal ferocity
gives way to layers of cloud
which, in patches,
allow glimpses of sunlight
to filter through, and
though it is still raining, now,

above the horizon
- where earth meets sky -
i see a horizon
- where cloud meets clear sky -
as it approaches

all this, from my safe,
front porch
vantage

What we need in church

2011-06-15T23:10:00.005-06:00

What follows is an incomplete list of what we need in church:

We need babies in church. We need their cute faces and cute noises. We need to see the beauty of their sleep, and we need to clean up their puke every so often. We need to hear their surprised scream when the water is poured over their head, and we need to see the surprised look on their faces when they are lifted up before the congregation and pronounced the newest member of G-d's family.

We need toddlers in church. We need them to be there in the middle of worship. We need them to make noise and to run up and down the aisle. We need them to bring crayons and cheerios into the sanctuary. We need to see them watching everyone else during worship, and we need to see them learning the rituals with their whole bodies before their intellect is ready.

We need children in church. We need them to interrupt our worship, since they already interrupt the other parts of our life. We need to see them grow week by week. We need to see them singing Kyrie Eleison when we didn't know they had learned it. We need to see them praying the Lord's Prayer while pushing trucks up and down the back of the pew. We need to watch as they form community with fellow church members more easily than adults often do. We need them to remind us what it is to be fully present in the moment as a child of G-d.

We need teenagers in the church. We need to roll our eyes at them as they roll their eyes at us. We need to hear their questions about G-d and faith and life; and we need to honor their questions, remembering that we too had similar questions at that age. We need to listen closely through their dispassionate affect to hear where their real passion lies. We need to give them a space apart that is their own, and we need to give them a real voice that is not apart, but heard and valued as much as any other.

We need young adults in the church. We need to prayerfully walk alongside their faith journey as they discover what it is to be an adult in this world. We need to provide a safe place for them to share their joys and frustrations as they encounter the reality of adult life. We need to encourage them to take leadership in the church. And as they take leadership in the church, we have to give actual authority to make changes; otherwise, they're just our puppets, and it's not real leadership. We need young adults in the church, so that they can share the vision for the future G-d has given them.

We need adults in the church. We need adults who have children, and we need adults who don't. We need married adults and single adults. The church needs their pragmatism. We need their maturing faith, and we need their dual concern for maintaining the church they've been given, and for handing on what they've found valuable. We need to hear their struggles with family and job, their struggles with faith in the face of a world that's changing all around them. We need to acknowledge the beginnings of their recognition of their mortality.

We need elders in the church. We need their wisdom, and we need to listen to their stories, which can share a mature faith. We need to slow down a little bit to walk with their failing hip or eyesight. We need to remember and respect the way they have lived this faith they are handing down.

We need the able-bodied in church. We need their strength to maintain our physical structures, and to help those in need. We need see in their physical beauty a reflection of the beauty of all of creation.

We need the disabled (physically, mentally, emotionally, developmentally, etc.) in church. We need to be reminded that everyone, without exception, is created in the image of G-d. And we who don't have the need for particular accommodation need to make room and provide resources for those who do.

We need immigrants and people from other lands in church. We need to hear different accents and languages. They remind us that, though the people were scattered from Babel by language, they were not abandoned by G-d; and they remind us that G-d does not speak exclusively English.

We need the poor and the rich in church together. We need to be reminded that often financial well being is more powerfully divisive than skin color or political affiliation. We need to learn how to give to each other out of our abundance, and then to learn to give out of that which we think we cannot live without. We need to learn to give for the benefit of the other, and for our own benefit.

We need each other in church. No matter who we are, we need each other.

$0.02

ankle liminality

2011-06-15T09:17:00.003-06:00

In a few minutes, I go to the doctor's office for my first post-surgery appointment. I guess he'll take the stitches out, and then evaluate my ankle. Over the past week, I've been coming to grips with the reality that this summer will be quite different from others, since my activity will be confined to what I'm able to accomplish with a big boot covering my leg, which starts at the calf and allows only then end of my big toe to stick out the other end.

The boot is a walking boot, so I imagine I'll be able to be as active as the boot and the strength of my ankle allows. One of the questions I'll ask the doctor is how much I'll realistically be able to do with the boot on. Then I'll have a better idea about how to plan the rest of the summer.

For now, though, I'm sitting on a coffee shop patio in lovely weather, good jazz music on the speaker above my head ~ and for another little while, I'm sitting in that liminal space between what isn't and what may or may not come to be.

For what it's worth.

Faith

2011-06-15T00:08:00.003-06:00

faith - we receive a gift from Holy Spirit
faith - a gift we wrestle to define

yet we still act
we still have agency
we still live into our faith,
undefinable as it may be

and we strive to know,
to grasp, to hold,
to share,
to grow deeper into this
gift of faith

but we will fail
and even when faith is
deep as a pie tin
it is enough
to stand in the
gift of the
waters of baptism
to receive "Given and Shed"
bread and wine,
body and blood.

urban fox

2011-06-15T00:01:00.003-06:00

a fox just trotted
down the street

we think we've tamed
the cities -
pushed wildlife
to their proper place,
beyond city limits
sure, the farthest suburbs see
deer, coyote, mountain lion -
but that's the urban frontier ...
didn't we push them
out of the city?

I've seen more "wild" land
than that fox ever hopes to -
his paws are accustomed to
pavement, asphalt
his palate, a repast of
rodent, duck, and
the occasional house-cat

he trots down the street,
down the middle of the street
like he belongs here
even more than we do

reflections on surgery

2011-06-07T10:30:00.006-06:00

So, yesterday I had surgery. I first sprained my ankle when my friend and high school basketball teammate stepped on it as I was driving the lane one day in practice (which, at the time, was a tremendously uncharacteristic move on my part, since my typical move was to catch the ball and either turn & shoot, or pass it back out). Then, over the course of the next 20+ years, I would regularly re-injure the same ankle. The injuries were of degrees varying from tweak to twist to sprain. Over the years, my ankle became easier to injure, and it became easier for me to self-diagnose ... or, at least, to not go to the doctor.

Finally, though, the pain got too intense, and even when I hadn't injured it, the simple act of running caused too much pain. So I made an appointment, got x-rayed, talked with the doctor, and scheduled surgery. And yesterday was the day.

I've known for at least five or six years that I would need to have surgery, and I've known (especially for the past year) that the end result would be a functional ankle. There was no doubt in my mind that this was what I should do.

I guess there was still some doubt in my emotions, though, that was building for a couple days. I know this isn't unique, but I had a little trouble really stilling myself the day before the surgery. I'm sure I was anxious as I ventured into the unknown. And yesterday, before we went to the surgery center, I found myself pacing nervously around the house, trying desperately to make sure I did everything in my power to make sure the day went smoothly.

The whole time I knew, intellectually, that I would be in good hands; the whole time I knew that there really wasn't much I could actually do to make things go smoothly, to make the surgery successful. But I didn't actually relax until I was in the pre-op room and the nurse was telling me what to expect. She said, "... they'll wheel you into the operating room, you'll roll onto the operating table, and the anesthesiologist will put something in your I.V. that will make go to sleep. The next thing you will be aware of is waking up in the recovery room."

It was this final statement that got me. 'The next thing you'll be aware of ...' When she said this, I realized that I was giving myself completely over to the care of these doctors and nurses, and that I had absolutely no control over my fate. I had no control over whether things went perfectly, or whether I would have trouble on the operating table and end up in the ICU for a few weeks.

I realized that I had absolutely no control over the outcome ~ and this was the best thing I could have heard, because all of a sudden, all of my anxiety went out the window.

Later, probably in a post-surgery, drug-induced haze, I thought to myself, 'if that experience isn't a model for, or articulation of, faith, I don't know what is.' To give oneself over to, and trust completely in, the care of another ~ perhaps this is a small part of what it is to have faith.

$0.02

morning run on the beach

2011-06-06T18:00:00.005-06:00

running on the beach,
sand, which the breaking surf
has picked up,
tumbles into my shoes as
my stride wanders into and
out of the ocean's kiss

as i run,
sweat born of sun and humidity and effort
drips past my glasses
and into the sea
while my heart begins to
echo the waves' rhythm

after a while,
my shoes are full of sand
so i stop
allowing rich air to fill my lungs
as i lounge, shaded, above the beach

resort vacation

2011-06-05T21:19:00.006-06:00

resort vacations
wonderfully removing us from our life
for a moment
resort vacations
offer us a break, a respite
from the mundane
resort vacations
magical as they are
offer us,
beyond the edge of the
contrived realty
little peripheral glimpses of
actual reality
which creep in
just past the edge of the
resort bubble of luxury
created for visitors
by those who live
where our periphery glimpses

Friday Night

2011-06-04T22:13:00.004-06:00

friday night
warm day cooling off to
a pleasant evening

driving at dusk with
windows open
radio louder than normal
down the boulevard
i'm completely present
here, now,
present in an eternal present
(you know what i mean)

until the truck in the next lane
accelerates, then downshifts
expressively
rattling eardrums, if not windows

sight, smell, feel ~
all the same then, and now
but add the sound i can't forget
muffler pipes rattling
and immediately it's
high school, friday night
up and down main street
'til it's well past curfew

i'm drawn from the
eternal present
to the
inevitable past

Reflections on not writing in fake Mexico

2011-06-02T07:11:00.008-06:00

Last week, I went on vacation. It was a lovely vacation, complete with those items from a stereotypical vacation ~ tropical climate, sandy beaches, wonderful time with friends, and very little on the agenda other than reading books that don't really matter all that much. Not only that, but we even got to travel out of the country to a famous vacation destination. It was a wonderful holiday, but I found myself missing something.

For the last 5 years or so, I've felt compelled to write, and especially feel compelled to write when I travel. (Fortunately for my 7 readers, most of that writing doesn't make it on to this page.) I love noticing the differences between what I experience as normal, and what is ordinary for the place to which I have traveled. I love seeing people who are different from me, who have different life experiences and assumptions about the world. And I love the experience of moving through space, feeling the longitude and latitude sliding past as I make my way from one place to another.

Much of what I notice when I cross latitude and longitude forces itself into a journal I carry ~ which is why I was surprised in our recent travels by the complete and utter lack of desire to write anything at all. And I'm trying to sort out the reason why.

Most of the time, when I travel, I do what I can to not be a tourist. I don't think there's anything wrong with tourism; the thing is, though, that tourism seems contrived, and in some ways fake. I'm more interested in experiencing a place I've never lived while I'm in the company of someone for whom that place is their home. Of course I recognize that even this kind of travel experience is contrived ~ the only way to really and fully get to know a place is to live there, and then you're no longer traveling.

Part of what I like to reflect on in the journal I try to keep is how a new place affects me, and how that place is different from that to which I'm accustomed. Perhaps this is why I didn't feel compelled to write on our vacation last week ~ we were only sort-of in the place where we were.

The resort where we stayed was amazingly well run, our time was more relaxing than I expected, everything was beautiful and everyone was friendly and nice. In other words, it was wonderful, and it was not real life. Don't get me wrong ~ it was a wonderful sabbath time away, at the end of which, I was ready to be back home.

$0.02

Sound Bites

2011-05-21T22:47:00.002-06:00

"Obama really sucks, doesn't he?"

This is the statement I heard from a woman passing by as I closed the car door at a convenience store parking lot. I was lost in my own world, thinking about where I was going and what was on my agenda for the rest of the day. I was in my wife's car, which (among many others) displays an Obama bumper sticker. I'm sure this is what my passer-by friend has noticed and commented on.

The trouble is that I have no idea what she was talking about. My initial response was to laugh, thinking that her comment was sarcastic. My initial reaction was that her opinion was the same as mine, that so many people complain about the president, even when the work he's doing is commendable. However, before I was out of the parking lot, I had second thoughts about her intent. Perhaps she really doesn't think he's a worthy president, and that she wishes someone else had that office. Then, before I was four blocks down the road, I wondered if she believes his policies are too liberal, or that he's not doing what he promised he would when he was campaigning.

By the time I got to work, I realized what bothers me about that exchange. It's the reality that sound bite exchanges are not conversations.

It seems to me that public discourse in this country has become nothing more than individuals and groups slinging statements at one another. When we do that, it is impossible to have actual conversation.

I would have loved to sit down over coffee and have a real exchange of ideas with this woman. Obviously she has her opinions, but I don't actually know what they are based on a statement made in passing with completely no context. And the only thing she can really assume based on the bumper sticker on the car I was driving is what my preference was in the most recent presidential election.

Real life is more nuanced than sound bites, tweets, and bumper sticker slogans. I wonder what our national life would be like if we had actual conversations ~ you know the kind, where we actually talk with and listen to one another.

$0.02

faith and relationship

2011-05-19T19:35:00.002-06:00

What if we adopted a pattern for youth ministry ~ no, a pattern for all of church life ~ based on Acts 8, the story of Philip and the Ethiopian Eunuch. No, I'm not interested in castrating young people physically or spiritually. I'm interested in relationship as a model for sharing faith.

I believe that most people are captivated by and interested in matters of faith. But what do we do in church when someone expresses an interest in faith? We (hand them a bible and) smother them with information. We worry about right theology, appropriate behavior in worship. We wonder whether a new participant in our worship life will 'join' the congregation, since once they 'join', we can ask them for financial pledges and they can be on the church council. But right theology, appropriate behavior, congregational membership, budgets and bureaucracies have nothing to do directly with faith.

It seems to me that faith, in fact, comes before theology; that faith comes before membership; that faith comes before commitment. And it seems to me that faith, that amazing and wonderful gift from Holy Spirit, is best nurtured in relationship. The Ethiopian Eunuch was desperate for something, and he was searching scripture to answer his longing. But he was not able to make sense of what G-d was up to outside of relationship.

Instead of hoping that the faith of (young) people will grow when we hand them a bible and fill them full of information, what if we genuinely listened to questions and explored faith together. Perhaps we are uncomfortable with this because most of us lack confidence in our own faith.

I believe, though, that if we explored faith together, in relationship, everyone would benefit. Sure, the faith of the Ethiopian deepened as he entered the waters of his baptism ~ but I have to believe that Philip came away from that encounter (with the living G-d) just as changed, if not more so, than his companion.

$0.02

* Thanks to Kenda Creasy Dean's writing in Almost Christian: What the Faith of our Teenagers is Telling the American Church for sparking these musings ~ and apologies if anything seems stolen ~ it is my intention to reflect, not to plagarize. *

Phone Booth

2011-05-19T18:17:00.004-06:00

alone and empty,
abandoned, forgotten,
no longer useful,
replaced by
what seems more relevant

the replacements,
chirping and singing from
our pockets bags purses
promise greater freedom

but seem to tether us
to that from which
we long for freedom

evening commute

2011-05-18T23:30:00.002-06:00

in the cool evening,
cooler air rising from
the creek i ride next to,
my vision is tunneled down
to the width of a headlamp

this time of night (when
streetlights illumine my way
and darkness encroaches into
the gaps, under trees and bridges)
the bike path is empty. the
hundreds i may pass on a weekend
are warm and dry, while I make
my way (white lights in front,
red flashers behind) back home
trusting the path beyond
my headlamp is clear of
significant obstacle

but the path turns out
to be blocked, partially ~
i speed by a snake, startled
into stillness by my approach;
flying down the hill, i swerve
to avoid a cat that escaped from home;
and just around the turn there's a
possum, crossing onto the golf course
each obstacle surprising me as the
periphery of my vision catches an
edge-of-the-headlamp glimpse

turns out, though, that
the snake is wooden,
immobilized by its former connection
to a tree trunk;
the cat, patches in the trail
viewed from one particular
25 mph angle;
possums scurrying into the bushes
nothing but the bushes themselves
lit on one side by my lamp,
creating shadows dancing
across the curve in the trail

Church Lament

2011-05-16T12:07:00.007-06:00

prayer, scripture,
breaking bread, community

to this simple formula
we add:
theology, liturgy,
committee, budget

we add:
buildings
with ornate decoration, or
obviously no ornament

we add:
bureaucracy,
structure

and we add, more than the rest,
we add:
requirements,
rules, regulations ~
we add law;
unnecessary law;
line-drawing,
wall-building,
barrier-constructing
law

and we skip over the
Law
that leads to freedom,
that leads to

prayer, scripture,
breaking bread in community

scattered thoughts on the extremes

2011-05-14T21:25:00.001-06:00

I'm tired of hearing black and white theology in the public discourse. Our public theology has followed the lead of the political discourse in this country, which is drawn into one-side-against-the-other fighting by the media's willingness to be complicit in feeding our voyeuristic tendencies.

We seem to believe that if we're not stating our point of view vehemently, to the point of yelling at each other, we aren't being faithful to what we believe. We seem to believe that it is necessary (for salvation?) that everyone agrees with the 'right' belief or theological point of view. If anyone disagrees with us, especially in the areas of faith and theology, we seem to believe that they are not faithful. We seem to not be able to listen to one another, or to have meaningful back-and-forth dialogue. And we seem to not be able to understand that a position other than the one we hold just might also be born out of a truly faithful perspective.

And the thing is, I don't mean to talk about only those who disagree with me. The conservatives demonize the liberals regularly, and the liberals demonize the conservatives with equally aggressive vigor. In at least one other location, I've encouraged people whose opinions differ to sit down and have dinner together, to spend time together that is purely personal, to get to know one another as real people with real concerns and legitimate opinions.

I just returned from our synod assembly (where my denomination, in a regional gathering, does the business of the synod (regional area)). These assemblies happen annually, and at times they are exciting and invigorating. This one, however, was something of a snoozer. At every assembly, the voting members from congregations are able to enact legislation which governs the work our synod does through the year. Some years, some of the resolutions that come to the floor prompt passionate, heartfelt, theologically informed conversation and debate.

This year, however, there were no resolutions and no business before the synod that was particularly contentious. I did notice, though, that we still found something to fight about.

It seems like we've gotten to the point that it's less important what our opinion is, and more important that we can take a strong stand on an issue, thereby demarcating the boundaries between the in group (who agree with me) and the other (anyone whose opinion is not perfectly in line with mine).

I guess I long for some nuanced conversation in our public life ~ some conversation that moves beyond black-and-white thinking, and recognizes the reality that our world and our lives are much more in the middle, tending toward gray more than either of the extremes.

$0.02

Children in Worship: something of a rant?

2011-05-11T09:15:00.003-06:00

Yes, sometimes children can be loud in worship. Yes, sometimes parents can appear to be somewhat inconsiderate when they don't keep their children quiet. Yes, it's disturbing when it's impossible to hear the sermon because a child in front of you is making enough noise to drown out the preacher.

But what if G-d's plan for this week is for that mom to hear the sermon? What if Holy Spirit has nothing to say to you today through the preaching, and everything to say to you through building relationship with that noisy child when you volunteer to take him out to the narthex so mom can hear the sermon? What if worship becomes less about us getting our needs met, and more about us being willing to meet the needs of others?

$0.02

National Day of Prayer

2011-05-03T20:11:00.000-06:00

Apparently, Thursday is the National Day of Prayer. I've never participated in this event, but I have heard about it and I've seen the literature and website published by the National Day of Prayer Task Force.

I personally have some problems with this organization, and with this event. First of all, I see that one of their goals is to "Foster unity within the Christian Church". As I read through their definition of prayer, though, they seems to intentionally exclude much of the prayer offered in Lutheran worship (which could be viewed as formulaic, and not spontaneous).

Second, the call to prayer on this one particular day is extended exclusively to Christians. I'm sure most of us are aware that our nation is home to many different religious traditions: Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Native American traditions, Sikh, Buddhist, Hindu, Baha'i, LDS ... it's quite a long list. However, the National Day of Prayer Task Force is interested in only Christian prayer. This doesn't seem very national to me.

From the other perspective, though, it certainly does seem very national to me ~ particularly because of the way in which the Task Force seems to emphasize (and pray for) USAmerican superiority. Now, from a patriotic perspective, I don't have a problem with folks wanting their own nation to be the best in the world. Provided they don't become vindictive or destructive, patriotic tendencies can be beneficial to national identity.

However, from a Christian perspective, I'm not sure it's healthy to pray or advocate for the superiority of one nation over another. See, if one nation is better than another, then the people of that one nation are better off than the people of the other nation ... and I don't believe that G-d sees national boundaries. When G-d created humankind in their image, it wasn't just USAmerican humankind. G-d created all of humankind in the image of the divine, and praying for some of G-d's creation to be less well off than the rest of G-d's creation becomes problematic (at least from my own angle on and gift of faith).

This is the heart of the reason that I don't believe our nation should ever become a Christian nation ~ there is too much conflict between nationalistic impulses and Christian belief.

So, Thursday is the National Day of Prayer. I have not been invited to participate, and don't expect to be. I would participate, though, if I were allowed to publicly advocate love for the enemies of USAmerica, and to pray for those who persecute us. In particular, this year I'd be interested in praying for President Obama, the house and senate leadership. I'd want to pray for the people who are leaders of North Korea, of Cuba, of Afghanistan, and of Iraq.

Further, I'd be inclined to not participate if citizens of our nation who are not Christian were excluded from offering their own prayer.

Maybe I'll just celebrate Cinco de Mayo this Thursday.

$0.02

Poetry Month

2011-05-01T14:28:00.003-06:00

poetry for a month;
my meager offering
made to,
or received from,
the Muse

does she
abandon me now,
having overstayed my
welcome
in her presence

or does she reward me
past my persistence in
spewing vapid verses
into the ether,
hoping, on occasion,
she'll string together
one, or
two
coherent lines

either way,
for now
the month is over, so
I'll read the comics

One possible perfect Saturday

2011-04-30T20:56:00.004-06:00

sleeping in 'til
the dog wakes ~
then coffee and
pancakes
made from scratch

a little work
a little play
nothing to do,
really,
but nap ~

deliciously simple dinner
and an escapist movie
after the dog park
now,
to fall asleep
with a good book

uniforms

2011-04-29T10:03:00.002-06:00

crisp, pressed, shiny, hat at the
perfect inclination for a salute

whistle, badge, gun, white gloves
for directing traffic

white shirt, green apron, bubbly attitude
as she makes my coffee

wing tips, tie, pinstripe jacket hanging beside
his desk behind the tellers

tights, a shrug, slippers for the kids' class,
pointe shoes for rehearsal tonight

hard hat, florescent vest, carhardts
keep the job site safe

flowing robes behind the bench
pronounce judgment

flowing robes from behind the altar
proclaim grace

which way do I go?

2011-04-29T10:00:00.002-06:00

get out of the screen
and into a book

get out of the house
and into the garden

get out of the house
and into the city

get out of the city
and out into nature

get out of the car
and onto your bike

get out of your walls
and into the world

get out of your head
and into your heart

Montana on a motorcycle

2011-04-27T21:41:00.004-06:00

roll into town late at night
Kalispell, maybe
quiet town, empty streets
as we pull up to the stoplight

a rumble swells
as the light turns green
15? 20? 25? bikes pull out
of curbside parking spots

they pass us on the right,
the last bike waving us in
getting us around the RV
that's easing us off the throttle

we ride together, our rice-burners
loaded down with luggage
among their harleys out on a
warm summer evening

our day's been long ~ we need to
make camp soon ~ but
before we part ways with them,
we all own the road

Building Then and Now

2011-04-26T08:28:00.003-06:00

Stone upon Stone
reaching toward the heavens;
they climbed scaffolding and
hoisted supplies on cranes ~
cathedrals, for the glory of God

Steel and Iron supporting
Concrete (creating urban canyons)
are hoisted on cranes
to workers high on scaffolding ~
who do office buildings glorify?

Breathe: A Blessing

2011-04-24T20:21:00.002-06:00

breathe
the poster on my wall proclaims,
echoing the urgings of my
almost-finished, almost-private office

breathe
sing mandolin and guitar
as they hang, silently,
on the opposite wall

breathe
reminds the rain as it
rivulets down the
windowpanes

breathe,
this Easter,
and be filled with
divine breath

Vigil

2011-04-23T22:52:00.004-06:00

sundown and darkness, then
new fire
and the proclamation of
Resurrection

story, story, story, of
salvation history

with G-d,
we've come through the
Valley of Death
(shadow or not)

G-d has triumphed.
now, to bathe in the font, and
feast on bread and wine.

God Is Dead

2011-04-22T10:08:00.000-06:00

Time Magazine asked
on its cover
~ April 8, 1966 ~
"Is God Dead?"

Is G-d dead?, or maybe
is our world so far from the
Faith of our Fathers, that
there's no way back? or,

has soccer, or
perceptions of hypocracy, or even
the New York Times
taken over Sunday morning?

do we now somnambulate
through worship, when we
bother to show up at all?
Is G-d Dead?

Time Magazine pondered publically,
on that 1966 Good Friday ~
the answer, that day: obviously yes.
without question, G-d Is Dead.

I wonder, did the magazine, and
soccer moms coming from yoga, and
sleep-walking pew-sitters ~
did they wait? do we wait?

trusting that today, G-d Is Dead;
and that death may not be
the last word? that death, inevitable,
does not tell the whole story

excerpts from last night's homily

2011-04-22T07:45:00.004-06:00

In the room where they gathered for the passover feast
a meal eaten in haste
reminding them of the freedom
to which God had led their ancestors
they are drawn into freedom once again
but it's not the freedom we in this country yearn for
it's not the freedom to live where you want
or to say whatever comes into your mind
it's not the freedom to denigrate one another in the public sphere
or the freedom to pursue personal satisfaction at the expense of our neighbor
it's not the freedom to satisfy every whim and desire
to the point of bankrupting ourselves and our children

it's a freedom that doesn't make any sense
it's a freedom that is born of service to neighbor
it's a freedom that we cannot understand until we experience it
and even then, we may not understand

the grace of freedom did not happen in the past
it did not happen on the cross
or from the empty tomb a couple days later
it's right now, here, today
in a meal of bread and wine
body and blood

God turns the world upside-down
and this week we enter into
God's upside-down world
a world of power made known in sacrifice
strength made known in weakness
life made known in death